Going Out a Lot But Not Getting Laid?

Ever got so caught up in the ‘training’ mentality that you lose sight of the goal? This could be you.. read on!

How many guys on here have been doing approaches for awhile but aren’t getting laid like they should be? It reminds me of when back in the day I could go out and run 10 tight sets in a club – go home feeling all happy but then realise I didn’t actually pull. Often this actually comes down to not wanting to risk the positive social feedback your getting and wanting to make a move. The problem with this is that in every social interaction a girl will want to know if you are for real or not. It could be a shit test – she says something to you that makes you uncomfortable and she realises that her saying something ridiculous to you meant way too much to you so she doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore. It could be she pauses for a second and looks into your eyes dead on – just to see if you really are for real. Lots of guys will have giveaway signs that they feel the pressure – so again the girls subconscious realises it matters too much to you and she loses attraction. My solution – which I’ve discussed previously is to make it into a challenge. Just like doing a 30 day challenge or a call all your numbers every day for 2 hours challenge. So I suggest the following to anyone who can relate to this situation right now. Go out every night for a couple of weeks and ask for the phone number of the girl your talking to REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU THINK SHE LIKES YOU OR NOT – just to realise it is completely insignificant asking for a phone number and definitely not something you should invest time in worrying about. Call all of these girls MULTIPLE TIMES – leave messages and follow up on every girl to get over the fear of using a telephone and actually calling a girl (side note – a lot of guys will use text because they are scared of getting bad social feedback over the phone – if you notice this is happening to you call them – just to get over the fear of it). Being scared to call a girl up is ridiculous – yet I can’t remember the amount of times my heart was in my mouth just before I would call some girl I had just met. Try and MAKE OUT with and/or TAKE HOME every girl you talk to for a couple of weeks. Now I realise that long term you want to be coming from a more selective view point – but if there is any fear or hesitation with escalating with women its a great idea to do a short exercise like this for a couple of weeks to burn through this. You don’t have to be this person forever – but if your not a sexual guy in the way you communicate then you can’t suddenly expect to pounce on women after an hour of not touching them and expect not to creep them out. Use the rule ‘IF YOU ARE TALKING YOU ARE TOUCHING – just to get comfortable touching women. If you scared to touch a girl – then obviously this discomfort is only going to become more apparent when you try and escalate further – so rather than learn a new gimmick to make a girl kiss you tackle it head on and realise it is ridiculous worrying about it. You can actually use this approach for any aspect of your game that you have any fear attached to. Just go out for a couple of weeks and repetitively target that issue until it becomes a non-issue any longer. Now when I did challenges like this a few years back guys would ask me ‘but did you actually ask for a girls number when she did appear to like you?’ and I did. Then they would say ‘did you really try and make out with girls after 30 seconds reagrdless of the social feedback you were getting’ and I did too. The thing I realised is that these fears we hold on to are ridiculous. Being scared to kiss a girl? I can’t even relate to a question like that any more but there was a time when I was the chode in a club who was scared to approach or try and kiss a girl. I remember so many cool social guys I have seen on RSD bootcamps that we have literally blasted away this fear attached to escalating with women and they can laid like a rock star. They already had big social circles and lots of people that liked them so just adding a touch of physcial dominance and letting them see it was ok to escalate on girls (and they actually like it – oftrn we would sit there and see girls crying for guys to make out with them and the disappointed looks on their faces when they don’t) was all it took for them to realise how much of pimp they are. The epiphany for them was not approaching a girl and just putting their personalities on the line – they could already do that to an extent but actualy realising what difference it made to actually lead interactions, touch girls and realise they liked it etc. If this sounds like you – cool social guy but not quite getting laid as much as you would like then man up – start pulling the trigger!

Leave a Reply