How to Turn Around a Failing Set

Sometimes I find myself in a position where the girls are pissed off in the set. It’s usually either because I accidentally took something too far, or more often because the girls won’t let me into the set, so I’ll say something to piss them off, so that I can start drama and get into the set down the line.

I was just thinking to post about this, because I had a great turn around last night while I was out. It was a great night, btw. I picked up a Playboy magazine model in front of her boyfriend. She chased me for my # after an hour set. Then we pulled another set of hotties home that we took from two big black dudes. A magazine reporter watched the whole thing go down even back to the house, so I guess the report will be in the Rolling Stone at some point.

The funny thing was though, I felt like the turnaround I ran earlier in the night was more interesting than any of this. It was just really well executed, and got me out of a nasty situation. The other stuff is cool but its stuff I’ve had down for a while. This is something I’ve more been working on.

My friend PlayboyLA and I were in a 2girl/1guy three set, and PlayboyLA was running the CsvsUs routine. He negged the girl on having a U-shaped jaw, and she freaked out. She claimed to workout at the same gym as Christina Aguilera (I’m in LA right now), and apparently she hates her with a passion. She freaks out, and yells “Fuck off. Leave now. Turn around and get out of here. Fuck off.” He laughs it off, and again, she says “Fuck off. Go.”

So this is obviously not a great situation. But it can be turned around, and where there’s problem there’s opportunity. In this case, they get more emotional, so when you turn it around, the drama you caused will just heat things up.

Here’s how I did it:

First, PlayboyLA and I just look at eachother and start laughing. Like we’re congruent with it. We think it’s funny. Then I turn to her and say “Man, if I wasn’t going right now, I’d adopt you as my new little sister. You could definetely roll with me in New York. You are totally New York. You could be my bodyguard. It would be like you know those boxer puppets from the eighties, where you press the two little triggers and they punch backwards like this (I do it). You’d be like that, but with your foot, like kicking guys in the nuts, like this (I make funny kick moves). There’d be a path of destruction, like with guys all hunched over that you fucked up. You know what though? You and I would not get along. You know why? We’re too similar. You wouldn’t take my shit, and I wouldn’t take your shit.”

Then she starts laughing, but she’s still kind of pissed. She’s cracking though.

Immediately, I follow with “You know, I’m so sorry. We’re total dicks sometimes. People think we’re dicks sometimes, because we’re always fucking around. We like you guys. Sorry for being dicks.” I say this sincere, but from a position of authority. Like my vocal tonality isn’t seeking approval in any way.

Then I follow it up with a field tested funny story (in this case, the bad ass kids story).

How to Turn it Around

Anyway, this is the structure for the turnaround.

1-            Don’t acknowledge that she’s even pissed. Don’t show any facial expressions of reaction to her bullshit. Laugh it off, but in a way where you’re not laughing to cover up discomfort. Like you think she’s almost joking or teasing. This is important, because if she thinks you realized she was serious, it’s natural psychology to be consistent to it and not let it go.

2-            Interpret it like she just qualified herself to you, in the way that she showed that she can stick up for herself. Do this in a funny way, using funny mini-cold-reads or future adventures projections.

3-            Give a brief sincere apology from a position of authority.

4-            Follow up immediately with something funny or intriguing to distract her. “Change her mood not her mind.”

I also really like Style’s line about “I grew up with sisters, and teasing was a form of affection”. Also useful here.

Another concept I think is important is that when you heat up the situation, people will crave rapport. Like the way I befriend AMOGs is to turn up the heat on them, but then say “Dude, I’m joking around man. I’m not fucking with you. What’s up man?” The AMOGs immediately befriend me, because they felt the emotional/physiological heat of the interaction, and they want relief of discomfort. So the same goes with the girls. I don’t react or acknowledge the girls’ pissy behaviour, and then I heat it up a bit, and then I apologize.

Leave a Reply