Remember, girls are like cats. You pet them for hours and they love you. But you pat them the wrong way ONE TIME and give them one bad emotion, and they jump off your lap and don’t come back, and totally forget about how good you were making eachother feel for the hour before. (This is another pretty decent playful routine I’ll run, btw, when girls get mad at me, which I start with “Ooops.. Shit, I just generated a bad emotion in you, didn’t I?”)
Style told me that he had a similar reaction when he was on a date with a girl from the personals (he did a personal adds experiment, apparently), and he used a false time constraint. False time constraints are useful even on dates, because they reduce pressure.
But this girl, out of nowhere, says “I can’t be with you. You’re too social. I don’t go out and meet up with friends everynight like you do.” IE, he has just overqualified himself, only by using a false time constraint. And boom, she doesn’t like him anymore, even though she was loving him up to that point.
We were joking around also, at how funny it is that both of us lost both of these girls by using stuff that wasn’t even TRUE. haa, what a good add just to be yourself! But really these things have gotten us in so many times, that’s not a good way to look at it. Still, its pretty ironic.
I’ve also had girls realize out of the blue that they’re not qualified, based on the most ridiculous shit. Like I was 5 hours in with a girl that I extracted from a club, on a night that I was dressed fairly generic. She was about a 7.5 (decently hot, not outstanding), and she was really cool. At the same time though, she wasn’t that confident with herself, and I could tell. So we’re snuggling together in the restaurant, and she notices the boots I’m wearing. She’s like “Wow, those are intense.. Can I see?” She pulls up the legs of my jeans and sees that I’m wearing my rockstar boots. Out of nowhere, she says “You really have alot of confidence to wear those. You really get alot of girls I bet. Why are you even hanging with me? My life is boring”.
BOOM! GAME OVER! She says she has to go, and starts THROWING money at me to get rid of me. She gives me like almost 100$ worth of restaurant and cab fare, and takes off. She won’t return my calls or see me again.
And this girl had been making plans with me about how she wants me to take her skiing, and how this is the first real connection she’s felt in a long time, etc etc. This is deep in, with a good amount of comfort/rapport/tonguedown, etc etc.
Again, we go back to the high drama intense state changes. Her brain is in a highly active processing state, where she’s rapidly computing “Is this guy the goods or not?”
And the second her emotions tell her “Nope”, she immediately loses all friendship and interest with you.
I mean this shit HURTS, yo!
Like I actually get my feelings hurt from this.. 🙂
I’m kind of laughing while I type this, but its actually TRUE!
I’ll be in 6-7 hours with some of these girls, and I feel like they’re kind of my friends. And then out of nowhere, one wrong move, and POOF, BYE BYE..
The reason, of course, is that I’m effectively flipping the switches of these girls at such a high speed.
This is something that alot of people don’t understand about pickup. There are specific switches that you have to flip in a girl before she’ll sleep with you. Most guys take weeks or months to flip these switches. I can do it in about 7 hours.
So these girls are in high drama, high state, high emotions. And one wrong move and I’m TOAST!
Some of the ways I deal with it, I’ve listed above. Style’s “teasing as affection” bit. The “girls are like cats” playful joking. Also, I’ll often just befriend the peergroup and hang with them for a while, until she cools off. At that point, I’ll just continue the pickup like nothing happened. Likewise, a sincere apology followed by some hilarious C&F can work.
The thing is, sometimes these things don’t work because her brain picks up on the pattern that you’re being playful as a supplicative thing. Like the girl all of a sudden can just tell that you’re being playful because you’re trying to manipulate her emotions. And at that point, she’s usually shut down for good.
Also, going back to RJ speed seduction type stuff, sometimes I’ll key into something that is a real emotional anchour to her, and I’ll just bring it up out of nowhere, and she’ll melt.
Really I have no perfect solution for this, but wanted to post about it because its something that’s interested me lately.