KEY is that in solid game we use tonguedowns and makeouts as a COMFORT BUILDER.
This goes back to why I first said that you have to go “rapport” (now I call it comfort building) after you go C&F.
If you go pure C&F, the chick will flake on you if you don’t lay her same night. The reason is that she is not COMFORTABLE hanging with you for a day2 if you went pure C&F. Why? It’s all related to BUYING TEMPERATURE. Girls feel uncomfortable meeting again, because they’re scared that you’ll take the same liberties with them when their volume knob was up, but now they’ve come out of state and its down, but 99% of guys don’t understand that they need to turn it back up before they can get back to where they were at the initial venue. Girls will even show up for get-togethers with guys they aren’t THAT attracted to, just because they’re SOCIAL. The main cause of flaking for PUAs is DISCOMFORT.
This is because guy’s attraction mechanism is like a light switch – on or off – binary – 0 or 1. For girls its like a VOLUME KNOB. It goes up slowly, and they’ll PERMIT more escalation as the volume knob goes up.
I use the last paragraph as a ROUTINE, except that I SWITCH the guys and girls part, and say that I need “comfort and trust and connection before I can concede to a girl that I’m attracted to, and for my friends to approve also, so please slow down and be patient or I’m going to go dance with my wingman”… This is a GREAT routine IMO, because it shows in a humorous way that you understand girls and their attraction mechanisms and that I won’t violate them by escalating too quickly so she can feel free to get all emotional since I won’t abuse of it -> ummmm yeah.. 🙂
I really like the concept of basically just explaining buying temperature and girlcode to girls as a routine, but in a funny way, because they enjoy it and it tells them things about themselves. But most importantly, it lets them know that you understand women, and that you’re “in the know
As IJJJJI recently posted (THANKS for this because guys keep emailing me about this and I hadn’t thought of a such a good way to describe it), comfort building is not making the rest of the pickup BORING. It’s just ADDING A DIMENSION, which in this case is comfort. Yes, you drop the C&F stuff where you won’t give her your real name or where you’re shit testing the fuck out of her, but you don’t drop the charge of the interaction. You’re still cocky and you’re still funny, you’re just not being a fucking dick who would be incongruent if he were to want her # and to meet up again. And of course you’re adding the DIMENSION of comfort, so that she can logically backwards rationalize the feelings that she has as a result of your C&F.
Kissing IS comfort building because the FOCUS of comfort building is you want the girl to feel comfortable seeing you again. If you’ve had physical contact, then the girl understands that you have PHYSICAL COMPATIBILITY, so she doesn’t have to feel nervous about the first kiss when she meets again. Basically girls flake most often NOT because they aren’t attracted enough, but because they just don’t want the emotion of discomfort.
If you’ve ever #closed a superhottie who you didn’t have the best rapport with, and felt nervous to call her, THIS is the feeling that I’m talking about. Except that GIRLS won’t actually push through it, because they follow their emotions whereas guys are more inclined to push through fear to get to the goalline.
So upping kino is great, but only in a way where its NON-PLAYER KINO.
I don’t know/care if thats a good term (probably not), but I just want to focus on it to distinguish fool’s mate “get her horny enough to leave” kino, that the “club makeout guys” use, and the kino that actual cool trustworthy classy potential boyfriend type guys use.
I don’t know fully how to explain the difference in text, but just using common sense.
So the program is if she does something good, you escalate kino. For example, hold her hands. See if she’s comfortable. KEEP RE-INITIATING this until she’s comfortable.
Like keep trying to get her comfortable with one level, then disengage, then re-engage a level higher. Get her comfortable with that, and continue.
Use freeze-outs to punish for unwillingness to get with the program. That means FAKING LOCKUP. Then when she re-initiates, try again. Keep doing this progressively all the way to the lay, also using full takeaways and trying again later as a plan-B.
Anyway, alot of rambly content here, but hopefully something of use can be derived from it.