Passing Her Shit Tests, pt. 3

Tyler Durden

ST: “you’re funny” -or- “you’re so confident”

WHY: This is TOUGH to field because you can’t tell if its serious or not.  Just field it as a shit test because it cracks her up either way with your C&Fness.

A: “what is it about funny guys that turns you on so much?”

EFFECT: C&F, shows you’re alpha.. funny line.. funny guys are smart.

ST: “we’re going to have sex” or “you’re hot”

WHY: When chicks go GM its because they are hyper-obnoxious attention whores.

A:  “respect” (said slyly, CPowles classic)

EFFECT: Show that you’re not the type to get all desperate and takes the compliments seriously.  ALSO, show that you don’t get UPSET by the comments either.  It shows complete disregard to her obnoxiousness, and is FUNNY (not insulting) at the same time.

ST: “we’re not going to have sex tonight”

WHY: She may want it to “just happen” and is feeling too much like its an obvious pickup that would make her slutiness obvious.  She is also testing to see your reaction, do you want her ONLY for sex, etc..  She’s also trying to break her own state, as in ALL shit tests.

A: “who said anything about sex?  mmmmmmmmmm… guess you’ve got something on your mind ;)”

EFFECT: Shows you’re funny, and RELAXED… also cocky therefore masculine.

ST: “I’m fat”

WHY: Testing to see if you’re a beta pacifier type lame-ass.

A1: “You’re enormous”

A2: “mmmmmm… more cushion for the pushin’”

A3: “J-Lo is in the house” (for “my ass is fat”)

A4: “You’re cuddly like winnie the pooh… ooooooo” (grab her, tickle her)

A5: “Look out Rosie!” (rosie o’donnel)

EFFECT: Highlights the ridiculousness of her comments, shows that you don’t supplicate, cocky therefore alpha.

ST: “What do you do for a living?”

WHY: She is demonstrating that she can SCREEN or QUALIFY you.

A1: “I clone humans”

A2: “I produce (x-trait of hers) fetish porn.. I’m looking for new actresses” (break into Kooper C&F frames, and pretend that you’re a pimp and she’s your latest girl)

A3: “Guess” (HOOP THEORY, make her jump through the hoop first before you tell her)

EFFECT: Demonstrates to her that you will NOT be screened.  Demonstrates alphaness, because it subtley says “I’m here to sex you, not support you, so it doesn’t matter”

ST: “How old are you?”

WHY: She is qualifying you.

A1: “Guess” (hoop theory, and my answer of choice because age is SOMEWHAT important sometimes)

A2: x-ridiculous age

EFFECT: Shows her that you will not be qualified, or are so confident that even if you ignore her stupid qualifications, you’re confident that you’ll fuck her anyway.

ST: “You’re too young”

WHY: Trying to qualify you, trying to push you back, trying to break her own state.

A1: “yeah.. I know.. I crawled out of my crib, stole my big brother’s ID, and snuck in here.. does anyone have any diapers??????” (look around FRANTICALLY) A2: “don’t worry.. like.. I won’t hold it against you.. I’m not like that” (said with sympathy)

EFFECT: Makes her laugh, prevents her from putting up resistant emotions.

ST: “What’s your sign”

WHY: Qualifying you based on ARBITRARY RIDICULOUS shit.

A1: “Guess” (HOOP THEORY)

EFFECT: Shows her that you will play her game, but she has to play yours as well.  You’re still equals, and you’ll screen her based on her GUESSING abilities, guessing an arbitrary thing.  ‘If you will screen me on something arbitrary, I’ll do it to you’

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