I have a girlfriend who is a hooker.
No, not a prostitute. She has serious feminine charm and uses it to “hook” a guy’s attention. In fact, with just a glance, she can send a “zing” that has guys go for the bait, and stay “on the line” for the rest of the night. Hooked!
I’ve even seen her “hook” guys from clear across the room. From that point, whether she was really interested in him or not she had him “wrapped around her finger.” (Sounds like the female equivalent of a “master pickup artist”, eh?)
While she can attract and capture a man’s full attention this way AND while she is fully aware of the little thrill this gives her, she is also aware that this is an unhealthy pattern for her.
She realizes that it is a cheap ego fix. She hurts and frustrates a lot of guys and it never has her feeling truly fulfilled. It’s like a quick and fleeting little hit from the ol’ VCP (Validation Crack Pipe)…
Of course, women aren’t the only ones who do this. Among the men who take our AMP courses, I often see aspiring “pickup artists” who have worked hard to learn the skills to get women “hooked”.
I used to feel run by my own desire to “hook” women as well. And as I started to become more self-aware, I noticed the Driving Need to prove that I was Good Enough to “get her” – to “hook her” – to “make her like me.” As I explored this pattern further, I could sense the hollowness of achieving this goal.
In the same way that my friend was creating suffering for men, I could also see the suffering that I was creating, for myself, and for the women I was “hooking.” They would get attached to me, and end up getting hurt, because they were just a means to an end for me… a way for me to take a nice toke off the ol’ validation crack pipe.
In this case, a question to ask yourself is this:
Say you could get “your ideal girl” – she’s “hooked.” If you had that, what would it really get for you? Be willing to take a hard, honest look at your REAL motives for relating with women (even if you don’t like what they are), and you may be surprised at what you discover.