Nearly everyone experiences sticking points in their love life at one time or another. Some women were always getting attention from guys growing up, but as they matured they discovered that they were never able to keep a guy interested in the long run. Other women have the complete opposite problem; they keep dating men that never leave them alone, that call them ten times a day and that are far too clingy when dating. There is so much bad dating advice for women out there, offering up supposed solutions for these kinds of problems that women face, and I know this because most of what I’ve read is terrible. It’s because of this that I got into the business of offering dating advice for women.

A lot of the advice out there enforces rules to attract men. But due to the vast difference in women’s circumstances and situations with men, I’ve always refrained from offering “dating rules”. Rather than telling you to ‘do this’ and you’ll find the man of your dreams, I want to offer a set of ‘guidelines’ that I know have worked for thousands of other women and that I’m certain will work for you. For this particular article I wanted to turn my attention to the first few stages of dating…

1. Contacting him

Don’t send men bland, boring messages. A lot of women feel compelled to reinitiate things, and fill the silence with a message when they haven’t spoken to the guy they’re interested in for a few days. It’s okay to do this, but rather than telling him how bored you are and looking for him to somehow ignite some fun into your day, it’s better to tell him something interesting you found out that’s related to a conversation you had previously.

Don’t be afraid to send texts that just make statements. A great way to build intrigue in a message is to send an enticing statement, such as “I just realised who you remind me of…” When he replies, you can then tell him anyone you like, as long as you can relate it to his personality or looks. Texts like this have a huge impact, without saying too much.

Use texts to arrange quick dates. A lot of women seem to have forgotten how willing men are to going on quick, casual dates that you initiate. You can arrange low-pressure dates on your terms by sending a guy something like, “Hey, I’m gonna go check out (X) today with some friends. You should come along if you’re about….”. If in the instance suggested he can’t make it, he’ll re-arrange to do something else.

2. The first date and beyond

Don’t talk about insecurities of past relationships. For this, I’ll make an exception and call it a dating rule, as it can be such a big turn off for guys. Plain and simple, just don’t do it!

Focus on the “why” rather than the “what. By this I simply mean diving straight into a more interesting conversation than your average small talk. Small talk is dangerous on a date if it drags on too long. It’s better to break the usual, mundane pattern and immediately start building a connection with a guy. Make statements and assumptions about him and expand on why you through that about him.

Move fluidly between tenses. The only tense you’ll ever get trapped in is the present. Your future plans are limitless and the more excited you are when talking about your future the more he’ll want to be a part of it.

Get him talking about what he really loves – A great way to really learn a lot about a guy is to have him talk about his passions. Even though you may have very little in common, it’s always possible to relate to the same motivation for doing something. For example, he might like travelling for the same reason that you like shopping; they both provide a sense of discovery and adventure. If you can relate like this, you’ll build a huge connection, and you’ll feel closer as a result.

So there you have it, seven top pieces of dating advice for women that you can put into practice with the very next guy you meet!