When it comes to how I handle the phone, I don’t worry that if I call back multiple times it will make me look bad. Because I have high social value, and don’t subcommunicate any neediness, I can call as much as I want. In fact, I’ll call two or three times in a row if she’s not picking up, back to back. I’ll call back whenever I feel like it, because it’s obvious that I’m amusing myself and that I don’t really care. I could take it or leave it, and I’m just having fun. I’ll call and shoot the shit, and then hassle her until she meets up. Whatever.
I also combat excuses by adding in phone freezeouts, and following them with playful teasing and some semi-logical stuff like “Hey, come chill for a few minutes. If you’re bored, take off and we’ll catch up later.” There’s also a field tested routine about how its weird to barrel through the first awkward half hour of meeting someone new, but everyone you know you had to go through it with, so let’s just barrel through it.
My goal is to have the girl on the phone ASAP. I don’t want them to have any time to forget that we have plans to meet up. I’ll call girls’ cellphones even as I’m leaving the club and going for afterbar food. I’ll have pulled a girl from the club to an afterhours food place, and run off to the bathroom to call all my numbers, while my wing occupies our set (I have a habit of pulling a two set with my wing for same night, and take numbers from the choice girls in larger sets). Whether I reach them or not, I’ll call them again as soon as I wake up the next afternoon, and get the ball rolling. I’m not thinking to make them wonder if I’ll call or not, because I know they could care less. Not because they aren’t attracted. Rather, because there are many attractive prospects on their plates, and regardless of my game, I’m one of many. The difference between me and them though, is that I’ll get her and they won’t, because I’ll play it properly.
If a girl stands me up, I’ll call her and make fun of her for it. I’ll hassle her to meet up. I’ll say I’m still there and she had better get her ass down there, because she’s my little sister and if she doesn’t get down here I don’t know what trouble she’ll get into if she doesn’t have me there to supervise her. I don’t care either if she wants her friends to come or not. All of this means nothing to me. I just want to see her again, because I’ll get her no matter what she throws at me. The difference between a day1 and a day2 is that she’s there to see *me*. So she has no excuse not to come back somewhere private if we’re spending time together. And from there I can escalate.
So let’s summarize. In my experience, I’ve found it best to get away from the idea that you’re trying to make the girl fall in love with you before you hook up with her. Focus on just showing you’re a cool guy who she has the potential to be attracted to, and then make it your only priority to see her again. Don’t worry about your value over the phone. You can’t wreck a sarge from over a phoneline. That makes no sense. If you’re the kind of guy who she’s attracted to, then just act congruent to that over the phone. Call her and get her accustomed and accepting that you’re in her life now. Make plans, and if she is flaky don’t worry about it, and be playfully persistent by chatting her more, not by talking non-stop about the flaking. Meet, have fun, connect, isolate.