If you set up the frame that she is ALREADY attracted to you, and act in every way congruent with that frame, then it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Watch your thoughts, they become your words;Watch your words, they become your actions;Watch your actions, for they become your deeds;Watch your deeds, they become your character;Watch your character, it becomes your destiny!
Always assume that she will fuck you!
It’s generally agreed that it’s a good idea to always have a positive attitude, but take it one step further.
ALWAYS ASSUME the BEST possible situation. I suppose “Make the Ho Say No” is the physical manifestation of this.
Using ASSUMPTIONS to lead her state
The most important part of a PU is leading HER states, and very little has been said on this subject.
The ONLY way to lay a girl is to get her to feel sexually attracted to you, but there are certain steps you have to LEAD her through to get there.
If you ASSUME her state as being positive, and conductive to your being able to proceed with the PU (ie. her state is that she is attracted to you, etc.), and you ACT AS IF she ALREADY feels this way, then you can create a frame based on this perception and draw her into your reality.
If you set up the frame that she is ALREADY attracted to you, and act in every way congruent with that frame, then it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you talk, act, kino, use body language, etc. that is completely CONGRUENT with the FACT that she wants you, if you ACT AS IF she already wants you… then she will begin to feel that way. There’s a psychological term for this that I can’t remember right now, but it is similar to the “fake it till you make it” idea.
So, for example, let’s assume that you’ve approached a HB and are demonstrating value, alpha characteristics, etc. as per TFM… Your PU is going well, but doubt starts to creep into your mind… “Is she attracted to me? Am I making progress?” How should you deal with this?
First, break your own state and reframe the situation. Change the defeatist frame of”I’m unsure of her attraction.” to the winning frame of, “She is attracted to me already.” We all know to do this by now, I hope. So, how to let HER know about this new frame and draw her into your reality? Simple. ACT AS IF. Start talking to her like you would if she was attracted to you (since, in fact, in your reality she already is!). Start TOUCHING her (kino) AS IF she were already attracted to you. Start using body language that sends out signals that she is already attracted to you. Be CONGRUENT in every way with this new frame, and ESPECIALLY with KINO, and you CAN draw her into your reality.
One great example of reframing that I can use as an analogy is Maniac’s post about missing a date and REFRAMING the situ. when he called her. He did a total reversal and REFRAMED as if SHE was the one who had gotten the date time wrong. (“No, we weren’t supposed to meet last night at 8:00, I have it right here in my schedule, it’s tomorrow night”, etc.) and made HER apologize since he had, by being confident, congruent and assertive, drawn her into his reality.
You can do the same thing with ANY frame you want… use this to deal with shit tests, flakes, etc.
Let me take this ANOTHER step further and relate it to the progression of her states during a PU. Here is a typical progression of the states she should go through during the PU:Approach (gain interest), Attraction, Rapport (optional), Sexual State, Close
I say that Rapport is optional because experience will tell you that some girls don’t even WANT to get to know you before you fuck them, although it is important in other ways. (See post in General for discussion)
This is KEY:
You can use this tool, of assuming her state, to LEAD her through these steps. Let’s say that you’ve just approached, you are getting at LEAST signs that she is interested in you, that you’ve gained her attention. The NEXT logical step is attraction. You want her to feel attracted to you.
So, you set that frame as if it were already true, and ACT AS IF she is attracted to you. Be confident. TOUCH her like she WANTS to be touched. (Example: Put your hands around her hips, hug her, etc… whatever you normally do AFTER you’ve put her in an attracted state.) Be congruent (meaning don’t change your pacing too quickly, don’t be apologetic if it SEEMS like she isn’t into it, etc.
You can TRANSITION from state to state by ASSUMING her NEXT state. If she’s attracted and you’re going for rapport, ASSUME rapport and act as if she’s already there… and draw her into that reality…
Continue this through the whole state progression, and watch your PU times get lower and lower.
What is the PUA aura? I’ve been thinking about it, and the vibe that I aim to put out.
-positive energy-quiet confidence-someone people would WANT to be around-comfort in own skin-pauses to build up anticipation for jokes, etc.-no fear that talking slow will lose attention of girl or group-no fear of “awkward pauses”.. let’s them linger if he wants-rarely laughs at own jokes or C&F comments, while others laugh-makes statements, does not ask questions until someone has earned that level of rapport-totally in control with absolute security of positive end result-knowing confidence/smile/breathing-peaceful look, like from “Meet Joe Black”, but with an ultra bad-asscocky/confident/playful an unlimited ammunition of bad-ass C&F lines-ability to switch gears without warning.. “You’re silly… goof………….. (change tonality to sexual) I want to see you.”-does not look around at other people, or look concerned or threatened by anyone else.. very much in internally-centered
Alpha scale!I think its because girls DETECT when you’ve HEDGED the opener and conversation with overly cocky shit, to protect yourself from rejection.It’s called BOLDNESS VS. CONFIDENCE.SCALE:-MACHO GUY(overcompensates by being too bold)-GOOD GUY(doesn’t qualify himself, but isn’t mean to cover up)-NICE GUY(overcompensates by being too nice)
Be the good guy. A little cocky, cool sense of humour, but not trying too hard. Trying too hard to be macho/bold is beta because its overcompensating insecurities
1. I talk slow …2. I do not care what others think …3. I do not move or turn around because of others …4. People have to work for my attention / interest …5. I ignore those who are not worthy of my attention …6. I move slowly, relaxed and controlled …7. I stand straight, poised and spread in a relaxed way …8. I speak in a deep, relaxed tone …9. I remain alpha regardless of what crisis comes my way …10.I never supplicate to others …11.I never qualifie myself to others …12.I am the anchour of the conversation …13.I am never impressed …14.I only have rapport with betas, except for a few exceptions …15.I answer questions with degrading jibberisch …16.I don’t give a fuck about others …17.I get more credit for minor actions than betas …18.I have the ultimative comfort in my own skin …19.I am the leader …20.I attract others with my frames …… because I am Alpha