How to avoid taking your game into a dead end.
THE PROCESS:
Step 1) Guy is not having success with women. He is lonely and/or alternatively has just been heartbroken by former love.
Step 2) Guy searches desperately for resources on how he can find a girlfriend.
Step 3) Guy finds ASF. Is Amazed. Starts reading everything.
Step 4) Guy gets reindoctrined with “ASF ideals” of fast sex and largely abandons his original goal.
Step 5) Guy is free of many of society’s beliefs, but still not happy.
I’d say that sums up about 80% of what happens to guys in the community. And why?
No goals. No ideals to shoot for.
After you’ve found this resource, be careful what you buy into. There’s a bias on here against monogamy and exclusive relationships.
There’s a bias in Western society towards monogamy and exclusive relationships (or at least that’s the party line, anyway).
Okay, so what do we have on our hands? A lot of gentlemen whose views are now diametrically opposed to society’s views. Who have some skills, but an incomplete picture of all social skills. Who don’t necessarily know what they want, other than what they absolutely don’t want.
How do we move beyond this?
First, figure out what you want. FORGET what other people think. That includes society, friends, parents, et cetra. If you want a harem, go for it.
But it ALSO means forget what ASF/counter-culture/players think. If you want to find a good wife, get married, and raise children, don’t let ASF stop you.
The thing you need is to get educated in what works. ASF is decent at teaching a lot of things, but many things fall through the cracks. As a quick example, many styles of “game” for opening/beginning situations are horrible at converting girls to loyal girlfriends later. But that’s not what this post is about.
No, what this is about is getting what you want. And to get what you want, you need to KNOW what you want.
Then, here’s what you do. You give it as much as you can, becoming the man that would have that, and knowing the things that a man that would have it would know. You learn what you need to know and you practice the skills that you need to practice.
You go out looking for what you want, and you trust your instincts and skills once you find it. You give it your best effort, and then, remember this, my friends, the most important part:
YOU THEN LET GO OF WHAT HAPPENS!
You might get what you want this time, you might not. But you work as hard as you can, but you then nod to yourself knowing you gave it your best. If it’s an ongoing project, you keep going out. If you didn’t succeed, you analytically look at the results.
But you tried, and by God, that’s better than what 99% of the world will ever do. Nobody goes after their dreams. And I’m here to tell you all, straightup, that every time I believed I’d get something, and worked as hard as I could to make it happen, it happened.
I only feel directionless when I don’t set goals. When I set goals, I have something to shoot for and to achieve. The community here has some tools available for you, but no one can dictate to you what you really want. Figure that out for yourself, then set to it and it’ll be yours.
This isn’t just inspiration. Actually DO IT! Hell, reply to this thread or start a new one in General with what you want. Just a quick note if you’re not entirely sure yet. “I like French girls, and I’d like to have a French lover.” Good! You can elaborate later, figuring out exactly what you want. Just get started.
perect, just what I needed.
Athol: Thanks for sharing your pvctpersiee. NMMNG: They reference articles all the time, but they often choose them poorly, or analyze them incorrectly. Some probably mislead intentionally, but I do not mean to tar Mr. Kay with this criticism.I see a lot of passive-aggressiveness in the pick up artist scene. They try to get what they want by pretending they don’t want it, for example, or inspiring fear that they will seek it elsewhere. Please elaborate on your connection between female infidelity and PUAs as manipulative psychopaths. I think they worry about cheating because they think of women even wives as their playthings. They behave like adolescents, and they don’t like it when the other little boys mess with their stuff. But I doubt that all of them are psychopaths.
Kind of ironic
Excellent, perfect to understand what we really want and what we have to do to obtain it.
Thanks that’s just what I needed to hear, because even though my game has improved vastly I felt like It was beginning to stagnate.