Deep Rapport Builder

This is a rapport builder as well as an opportunity for anchoring for those of you that do this. In addition, it really shows that you GET IT, when it comes to “relationships”, when a chick brings it up.

I had to come up with a good response on the fly when a few of the gals I have been out with lately have asked me what I’M looking for in a “relationship”. I normally don’t like to bring up the “R” word, but when a gal brings it up, you have to have a good reply… one that will show them that you are intelligent, that you have it together, that you are sophisticated, and that there is more to you than meets the eye.

Now the context of using this is that I have only used it with gals in a casual environment, (a bookstore, coffeeshops, restaurant). Haven’t tried it in clubs nor do I think it would work in a club setting. This is for when you are alone, having one of those one on one, deep rapport conversations, as a prelude to (a few steps before) the full close. Here was my response… and everytime I’ve used it so far, it has gotten deep levels of rapport (it became about them seducing ME) as well as broken down any resistance…

As far as anchoring, when I’ve done this, I used sugar packets once, and I used my fingers (pointing to them) the other times.

(You may want to read the theme itself before reading about the anchoring part next so that it will make more sense)

Actually using my fingers as an anchor was kind of a subtle sexual signal, because I would put my 3 right hand fingers up (one finger for each value, as if counting), and point to them with my left index finger and then when I would do each of the “2 values without the 1”, I would form a “ring” with my thumb and index finger of my left hand that would encircle the two fingers of the other hand… and as I talked I subtly slid my encircling hand up and down over my fingers. (first each of the 2 together and then the 3 all together at the end)

I actually did this without thinking about it consciously at first, then I wondered why the chick I was talking to got all flushed and started breathing heavy as I was moving my left hand index/thumb “ring” up and down the “shafts” of the fingers of my right hand. Anyway, here it is…

———————————–Begin theme

“I have a new theory about all relationships and what makes up the ideal one.

First of all you need Passion. This is where you have a physical chemistry with this person, where you feel drawn to this person that you’re with, you may even feel a warm feeling right here in your stomach and maybe it spreads all over your body when your with this person… where you can lose track of time and give yourself completely to this experience…

Next you need Intimacy. This is where you feel an emotional connection with this person, like you’ve known them before, and like you were always meant to know this person… like this was meant to be and where you feel completely comfortable and close… and you may feel it right here in your heart…

Then you need Commitment. Philosophers have called this a sense of “duty”… where you feel secure, knowing that this is someone that is here for you, that we both choose to be together… and this is someone that you can see yourself with now and in the future…

Now, all relationships are based on varying degrees of each one of these elements.

For example if you have just passion, but no intimacy or commitment, then that would be like just physical infatuation. Like a one night stand or something… nothing more, nothing less…

If you have just intimacy, but no passion or commitment, then that would be just friendship. And we all have those…

If you have just commitment, but no passion or intimacy, then that would be an empty relationship. Like a lot of married people out there… so sad.

Then you can have passion and intimacy, but no commitment. This is like a “Romantic affair”… and maybe the knowledge that it is something that’s now or never… or that you have no guarantees about, makes the passion and intimacy even more intense…

And you can have passion and commitment, but no intimacy. That is like people who stay together because they really like the sex.

And you can have intimacy and commitment but no passion. That would be like grandma and grandpa who are together for companionship, but cant remember the last time they did it.

And of course the ideal, as with all things… is about balance, where you can have just the right amount of passion, just the right amount of intimacy, and just the right amount of commitment… well… now that I think about it, an extra little bit more passion would be nice… what do you think?”