Mehow’s awesome “philosophy that applies directly to the field.”
1. Be social. This is NOT the ‘evil art of seduction’, you are not going out in the field to ‘get some’ – you are going out in the field to have fun and be yourself and hang out. So don’t go out thinking ‘when am I going to score?’ Women detect that attitude from a mile away and it’s an instant turn off.
2. Evolve yourself. If you are reading this, then right now then probably ‘being yourself’ doesn’t create the relationships you want. Social mastery is the hardest endeavor you will ever undertake because there is nothing more discerning than a woman’s intuition. Any problem that you think you have, be it real or imagined, she will detect. To be successful you will have to launch an epic self-improvement program on yourself. Once you have become that new you, and you have evolved socially via practice, you will go right back to being yourself – but a totally awesome, new you. If you are not willing to change and evolve, you will continue to experience a lifetime of mediocre results. So for whatever is bothering you, commit to fixing it yourself and never hesitate to get professional help. Not only will you become more successful socially but you will also become more successful in your entire life. No amount of ‘Game’ can really compensate for a flawed personality.
3. Give and Love. When you are hanging out in a social environment, what value do you offer to the people in that environment? Do you expect anything in return? The answer for most men today is Not Much, and Yes, respectively. No wonder women aren’t begging for your phone number. To be successful socially you have to be constantly putting more energy out there than you receive when you begin an interaction. To do this properly you have to actually not care about the outcome of anything you do. You have to put yourself out there and actually expect nothing in return. This has an extremely powerful effect on women. I will frequently just hang out with women that I don’t particularly find attractive because I’m making their night and adding to the karma. Karma comes back. Love every woman for who she is.
4. Touch. Everybody wants to be touched in un-creepy ways. The societal code has made physical communication between men and women difficult with a ton of alleged rules and wacky misconceptions. Yet both men and women want to be touched. Learning to communicate via touch will, when you master it, completely flip your own reality. If you are not getting a lot of touching going within the first few minutes of any interaction with a woman, you are living life at half-speed.
5. Don’t react. This is one of the most key elements of any social interaction. If you are the truly content, giving, alpha-male, then how does a woman’s reaction to you affect your reality? It just doesn’t. She will test you for it – she will deliberately feel how alpha you really are. And you will be completely and totally unaffected. Being unaffected creates a sense of deep inner peace that extends to other areas of your life.
6. Create a vibe and lead people into it. Remember, you are just hanging out. You are not trying to ‘get something’ – therefore you can’t chase it, ask for it, or like many men today, beg for or buy it. Breaking those rules will result in instant blowout. To get results you have to create a compelling vibe – one that has HER chasing YOU. It’s your job to make women feel comfortable and attracted to you. They will not do this by themselves. You have to suck others into your reality. For things to work, women have to be chasing you – asking for your phone number and giving you that ‘make out with me, please’ look. Proper ‘pick-up’ is simply creating a comfortable, romantically-charged environment where the two of you can explore each others personalities.
7. Don’t try, just be. You are not ‘trying’ to do any of this – once you have mastered your unique personality performance you become it. It is you. You are not ‘trying’ anything, there is no game – you simply are. But you are that amazing, totally together, fun, happy, social, powerful alpha male that every woman is internally programmed by her evolutionary circuits to align with. ‘Game’ is just training wheels for your own personality evolution. Game is not the answer, you are.
Why Does Any of This Work?
8. Women respond very powerfully to a giving alpha male. Imagine walking into a room and seeing nothing but unattractive women. That’s what women see when they get constantly approached by supplicating, interviewing (‘Hey, what’s your name?, ‘What do you do?), and braggy (‘Yea, baby, that’s my Bentley) chodes. Now imagine further if all these unattractive women came onto you one after the other, night after night, trying to ask your name and buy you drinks and were constantly asking for your phone number. This is the horror movie that most attractive women today experience. The evolved alpha male is here to change the script.
9. True alphas are scarce. True alphas are perhaps those five guys in the club with girls around them all the time. Alphas give without expecting anything in return, alphas are just plain ‘cool’, alphas don’t buy women drinks or beg for their phone number, alphas create comfortable vibes, alphas create a warm happy playpen for the women to wander around in. Alphas don’t supplicate, but they treat women as equals and get the same in return. Women will compete for those men, women will work for those men. They are emotionally wired to do so. They will leave their boyfriends to hang out with them. Girls make-out with me while holding their boyfriends hand. They will dump him or hide him or do whatever it takes to align with the alpha male if their current alignment is sub-par. Aren’t they horrible evil sluts for doing so? The answer is NO. They don’t have a choice, women are programmed to align with men just like men are programmed to sleep with women. Women love the true alpha and want to be ‘Picked Up’. If you pull this off right, then literally every woman you approach will love your presence and your energy. They feel honored to be hanging out with you. The direction of your interaction is up to you and her. It will take some time for you to cease being surprised when you find women want far different things than what you formerly thought they wanted. Remember, that most women are with beta men because that is all they can get. If you are an alpha who won’t deceive her about your intentions then you are doing her a huge favor by introducing yourself. All of the women I date know that I see other women and they don’t mind because they would still rather be with me than pretending to be happy with some beta boyfriend. (I’m very open to being a monogamous boyfriend, but I would have to be literally swept off my feet for that to happen.)
But I’m ugly.
10. Looks don’t really matter. Odds are, you are far hotter than me anyway. I’m a skinny, pale, balding, thirty-something guy. I look like a six-foot-tall fetus. But my personality turns me into a runway model! Men make the mistake that our reality must be the same as a woman’s. This is just wrong. We are attracted to swimsuit models so we think that women must be attracted to looks just as much as we are. But the biggest attractor for most women is personality. Be a personality model and you will find fashion models calling you during lunch and asking what you are wearing. It is hard to focus on work afterwards. In the old days when I was a card carrying chode, I used to get jealous of super hot girls because they seemed to have unfair power. Now, I reflect on the fact that I get to be a personality model my entire life. But what if they find out that I ‘game?’
11. Don’t game, just be. The skill set that is ‘game’ is actually a tool to evolve YOU into a social creature. Acquiring the skill set is only half of the challenge. You have to merge what you learn into YOU and create your own unique, personality-conveying performance. Mastery is being able to consistently create a performance art that is unique to the woman and you. Every time I have an interaction with a woman it is different and unique. It’s like I’m painting a new painting every time. A lot of guys, when learning the skill-set, get lost in the tactics of things, questions like ‘what do I do when she does X, what do I do at time B?’ This is like asking a master painter, ‘Do I paint blue first or yellow?’ (credit Lovedrop). Only the merging of the skill set with your unique personality will tell you that. Just PAINT, man! If you paint enough you will become your own master painter and women will appreciate you for it.
But what if girls find out my ‘secret knowledge’?
12. There is no secret knowledge. As students of social interaction all we’re doing is modeling natural phenomenon, there is nothing secret about it. All women already possess the knowledge, that’s how they can tell an alpha from a beta. This is why commonly there is a notion that ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.’ Men think too logically when they should be learning to appreciate women for who they really are – little purple aliens 🙂 Learn to speak Venusian.
13. Innovate. There are a lot of men out there currently using tried and true ‘material’ on women. They do well with this. Those guys are not going to like the fact that a lot of this is being exposed by the media. Those guys are not the ones that are coming up with their own unique personality conveying performance. Talking with those guys, it is obvious that they are not being themselves. Only use what we teach you to innovate an outward expression of your inner self. Most of you are actually awesome men. You just don’t have the social education to express yourself socially.
Are you ready to learn?
Sure, but what will I get out of all this?
14. Select. The skill-set is what you make it. With it you can select the right woman and decide who you want to be in your interaction with her. Having the power to consistently get any woman out there is a life-changing experience. You could become to any woman you choose a playboy, a romancer, a friend, a boyfriend, a socialite or a husband. I love the emotional interaction and the choices I get. If you have the basics of the art down, and you are always hanging out with women that you find attractive, then you can differentiate on things that really matter like her outlook, energy, and personality. Most men today say they discern based on who she is but, in fact, they are just rationalizing their relationship with her based on their desire to sleep with an attractive woman. Additionally, many men will rationalize to extremes because they perceive they have no choice in the long run so they end up in sub-optimal relationships and marriages. What will your romantic life be like? Ironically, the answer to men not being shallow is to teach them how to get all the relationships they want.
I’ve noticed that when men stop being desperate, they actually discriminate more based on a woman’s non-physical qualities.
Drue and Bill, fantastic post. We need to ciounnte shining the light on the successes of women in technology. These incredible award winners inspire us all. There are very few role models for girls and young women in tech. Consider that the annual UC Davis Census of Women in Business in California finds that nearly half of the 400 largest firms in California have all male executive teams among the worst in terms of diversity at the top, high-tech firms. We have a long way to go. If Silicon Valley is a hotbed of innovation and diversity, shouldn’t it lead the way in breaking the Silicon Ceiling?