There was a time, when I was at in my room thinking why the fuck was I not able to get any hot girls. That was quite a low point in my life.
So many of us have been there. Many of you are still there. I remember blaming it on my looks, my race, my financial situation, and even people around me including other PUAs. On retrospect, it seemed just like yesterday. I have one thing to say to the me from then: FUCK YOU!!! 😀
I’ve got emails from some of you guys telling me that you’re great looking, but you can’t get laid. Some of you say you’re not so pleasant looking and don’t see how you can even talk to a hot girl. Others tell me you want to have a complete game plan before you run game so you won’t get fucked over.
Those are wrong ways to see it.
I feel for you guys who think like that, I really do, because I was once there. Sometimes I talk to my AFC friends who tell me shit like they want a hot trophy girlfriend, but then they contradict themselves with totally fucked up logic about the whole game. I feel for them, because I was once there.
PU is a skill. Skills come with practice. Just like I see the difference between a medical student and a doctor examining a patient. The student is clueless to start. With practice they get better, but will be rough around the edges and won’t be as quick or spot more complicated pathophysiologies. It’s only over years that they eventually become doctors who are fucking smooth and can break things down into all the small steps. The only way to get there is through practice and with time.
My most important realization is to take things one step at a time So many are trying to learn THE technique or THE way to get laid. I know, because I once thought that linearly too, and have my preferences as to whose stuff I read and would take as good advice. But it’s not even about THE way. Only you can come up with your OWN way. There’s no 2 people that drive a car the exact same way. Just make sure to go through every single step. This is also why one step at a time allows you to not miss out on anything significant.
The other thing to realize is that you can’t force things to happen. This is what the whole relaxed state is about, and I think with experience this is the state you get into naturally when out.
Build up from the foundations and master each little phase of the game. I can see how getting the end goal acts as positive reinforcement and boosts confidence like crazy for newbies who’ve never had things like that happen to them. Note I’m not asking you to lower your expectations. It’s just that you have to build up to it. For me, I realized that I was waaay over my head about the kind of chicks I wanted when I started. I was way too arrogant about myself, yet insecure at the same time. I wanted to get to the goal quickly, without going through the process of learning the game properly. This is the reason why my progress was so slow back then.
Take one step at a time, while constantly pushing yourself outside of a comfort zone. My parents told me that I just started walking without ever learning to crawl. While that may sound really cool, I feel like I’ve missed a big experience in my life even though walking is obviously more advanced than crawling (now I think about it though, it’s probably going to be quite difficult for me to crawl! ha ha). Just like laying hot chicks – after a while, you get accustomed to the experience, and it’s no big deal. Don’t miss out on all the fun with mastering each step. That in itself is real fun. Whether that be opening, kiss closing, BF/AMOG destroying, phone gaming, or extracing consistently or whatever else it is.
The fear could only be overcome by not deliberating the goal while bearing it in mind. You have to look at it as just that small step – all you have to do is open them. When I started a while back, I was one of the loser geeks standing in the corner of clubs, thinking that an 8 was a 10 and not even having the guts to approach her. So I took that small step ahead. Anything that follows – who cares?? This is how I did it anyway. Eventually I got that under my belt. So I moved on to the next step. It also flows alot easier from one step to another this way as I have a good idea of what I know for certain so far and can monitor my progress.
I also once had many limiting beliefs. For example, until my first kiss close in a club, I didn’t think it was even possible. I remember seeing a PUA with loads of hotties kissing them and I said to myself then, he must just be really good looking. Recently I saw the same pictures, and thought, WTF was I talking about, I’m so much better looking than this guy!!! I remember thinking I was fucking dreaming. Then eventually came my first lay. Holy shit, no need to tell u about that. Then it happens over and over, like a fucking avalanche snowball effect. I think though that we all have limiting beliefs and if someone claims they don’t they are lying. I still have limiting beliefs, but look forward to overcoming them.
Some of the newbies here would think that approaching random girls is ridiculous/impposible; others may think that kiss closing a random is difficult; others might think that extracting them home and fucking them is just something you see in movies; some PUAs might think fucking 2 chicks at the same time to be really hard… the truth is that it’s all about experiencing it, and once you do, the limiting belief just vanishes. I guess that’s your brain backward rationalizing about it, and realizing that it’s an anomalous contradiction, and thus destroying the original belief to preserve a congruent logic based on the new experience.
But this is also why it is important to take a step at a time. The foundation will be there, and you aren’t going to just ‘get lucky’ and have no idea afterwards what it is that worked, because you’ve been going out in field working each little step till you know it works for sure, and if it doesn’t, you also know what went wrong. This was one of the bigger issues I had when I was using canned material completely – I had no idea why it wasn’t working, or why it was. But it’s also important to make sure that you are aware of the difference between ‘goal’ and having a ‘structure’. The structure allows you to get to the goal, not vice versa.
Speaking of canned material: I think that canned material is essential as the backbone structure to a PUA’s game. It’s well field tested stuff (obviously you should also test yourself before implementing it 100% into your game) that will get you responses if executed 80%+ correct. But, you aren’t going to take a few routines from TylerDurden or Harmless, lines from ijjjji, or any of the top PUAs, and run a 100% smooth game. Sure, it gives you some high octane shit that will get chicks laughing and attracted, but that is only the baseline script. I was using a very TD based game, which I still do, but back then I was adhering to it so rigidly alone that it wasn’t giving me results. Read his post on ‘purpose of gaming for loverboy’. You can take lines said by another Oscar winning actor and sure it still sounds money, but you repeating it is acting, not being the part. The word ‘actors’ is almost inappropriate, because they do all the shit about BEING the part, so it’s not even about acting. And as we all know most actors have a ‘canned’ script when they shoot, but never follow it 100%. It only serves as the structure. They have to BE the part, not act or play it, or read the lines just as they are. Be FLEXIBLE. FLOW. This means improvising. The improvised material adds the MEAT to it and makes it more YOUR game than someone else’s.
The art is in putting it all together. Like a painting, take your time to add your own touches. When you finish, step back, and look at what you’ve created and achieved. Anyway, gotta go. Keep playing.