Social Intelligence – How to Get a Good Vibe Going

When socializing, a good vibe will be set when the reason for being there is to enjoy each other’s company.

However, sometimes a bad vibe can be set when the presupposition is that you’re there for a SPECIFIC PURPOSE.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with purpose. It has a place, and more of my daily interactions have a purpose than those that are to socially vibe.

However, recognizing that tagging a set purpose to an interaction will often stop a nice vibe from occurring, will help with a pickup.

Insecure people will often LATCH onto a purpose for the conversation, as a way of maintaining it.

Then they’ll leave on a “high note” once that purpose is exhausted.

This is a MAJOR cause of flaking. You maintained a conversation with a girl, but the presupposition was that you were discussing an issue. You left on the high note, but didn’t realize that you were actually REINFORCING to the girl that you are not socially compatible.

When going to meet up with you again, she’ll think “Well, we really have nothing more to talk about though. I don’t want to have nothing to talk about, because that would feel uncomfortable”

As guys, we don’t care. We might feel nervous that we’ll have nothing to talk about, but we want sex. But girls, if the feel uncomfortable, they won’t show up. That’s one reason why guys who smoke pot get laid alot. Girls rarely flake on them, because they have that social presupposition that will give comfort. For the rest of us who don’t smoke, we use SOCIAL VIBING rather than FORCED social interaction, to maintain comfort.

Clinging too strenously to a particular topic can come across insecure. When you say to a friend “Let’s go have a beer”, the subtext is “Let’s go socially vibe”. You don’t go discuss an issue, and say “Let’s reconvene later”. You go and you chill. You have a FRIENDSHIP. Non-party-chicks rarely flake on guys they have both attraction AND friendship with. But they do flake on guys who attract them, tongue them down, and say “Give me your #.”


In summary, how does this apply in practical terms?

Most of it comes in, during comfort building phase. Or if you use a different PU model than I do, then its when you’re getting to know the girl either way.

1) Don’t crack jokes to the girl, and laugh at them before she does. Wait.

You’ll notice that it sometimes takes even 10-15 seconds for a joke to process.

But it DOES. I usually bust on her for it “Oh, slow processing time.. That’s

OK, you’re my little sister.. I didn’t adopt you for your brains”

Also, don’t say “right” after everything. It can come across beta. Right?

2) When a girl is trying to impress you, RECOGNIZE it as her QUALIFYING herself. If you reject it, you’ll come across insecure, or socially unaware.

Picking up where I left off last time talking about how to get a good vibe going.

3) Recognize when its your turn to talk, and when somebody else is being focused on.

MUCH MUCH of the mid/later game is the chick qualifying herself to you.

Because our pickup model incorporates a lot of not trying, you’ll notice your best pickups (with NON-party-chicks at least) are with the ones who at some point EARN your attention.

They perceive that they’ve WON your interest, and plan to COLLECT THE PRIZE (your dick in their mouth).

4) If a girl tells you about a problem, just LISTEN and change her emotion.

Say “Ouch, that’s sounds tough.. But hey, you’re a powerpuff girl, and you know

you’re to fiesty to let this stop you.. Let’s check out x,y,z”

Definetely don’t offer advice. If she wants advice, she’ll say “WHAT SHOULD I DO?” Unless someone asks me what to do, I rarely offer advice. OR, I say “You know i have experience with this, so maybe later you can ask me about it.”

5) Focus on SOCIALLY VIBING and don’t CLING TO TOPICS. This will prevent flaking, and make her feel comfortable around you.

Don’t leave on a high note. THERE IS NO HIGH NOTE. There is only vibing and flipping the switches that she needs to have switched in order to fuck you.

I suppose this sort of approach is the “external” way of coming at the problem.

The other way of course would be the “internal” way, which would mean improving your inner game so that you’re not needy and you’re not insecure.

I think that inner approach is great and has alot of value.

At the same time, the externally focused approach is what solved my internal issues, because once I figured out the points of how internally-balanced people acted, I got laid and then started to feel better internally.

Like one thing I like to do with newbs is tell the girls from the set I’m in that they have to tongue him down and grab his dick, or I’ll leave and blow them off. Or I’ll tell a girl from a 2set that if her friend isn’t warm to my friend, I’ll leave because he’s bored. The girls do this, and then the newb walks around strutting like he’s the man for the rest of the night. Then he PU’s another separate chick on his own, gets MOMENTUM, and it snowballs. These are extreme cases of the externally focused approach, but just focusing on the mannerisms of successful guys can do the same.

At the same time, for alot of guys they really need internal work. Like no success will fix them internally. So I think that both approaches are great.

I know Twentysix is now running great game, and he did both externally focused stuff (going out 4 nights a week), as well as seeing a psychologist.

Social Intelligence Articles by Tyler Durden:

Social Intelligence and Vibing

An Example of Social Intelligence

Hierarchies and Social Intelligence

How to Get a Good Vibe Going


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