Here’s something I’ve known for a long time, and been meaning to post about.
If any of you guys recall the field report where I almost slept with that big fat chick that I met at the homecoming block parties on my campus that was what reminded me of this.
Just going back over it, what happened was that I met this girl in the backyard of the party, and started getting it on with her pretty hard within about 3 minutes. It was dark, and I couldn’t tell how big she was. OUCH.
So we get back towards the house (I’m isolating her for full close because she lives in one of the houses), and we get into the light where I realize that she’s too big and not even as pretty as I originally thought. Now at this point, after close to an hour of foreplay, you’d THINK that I would just go for it anyway. But nope, there was no way.
But in hindsight, what REALLY made it not happen? Well to me, more than anything, it was that when we went from OUTSIDE to INSIDE, the environment was so different that it literally BROKE MY STATE.
Even WEIRDER though, was that once I got inside with the girl, I actually noticed that even SHE didn’t really want it as much anymore. At first I thought that it was because she could sense the disgust on my face. But in reality, now that I think about it, I think that she actually lost state because of:
- change in lighting
- change in sound (from music and partying to absolute quiet)
- change in the level that we were talking at
Had we moved, say, to a shed or something in the backyard, she might have gotten me to have sex with her, because my state would have been there and I would have thought “aaaah, fuck it.. sex is sex” The reason I say that is that although I was turned off when we got towards the house, and I could see that she wasn’t hot, I was STILL in state. But once I got inside, I was TOTALLY turned off (thank god), and SO WAS SHE.
I noticed the SAME with Twentysix last week, when I was visiting with him in Toronto. There was a HB7 and a HB6. We pulled them from the club back to their house. The girls literally said “we want sex” – they weren’t even slutty – they were just college girls who could tell that we were decent guys, and after a debrief apparently the only guys who came up to them and just had fun and didn’t hit on them. They were even bitching that they’d had condoms in the house for 3 months, and that even though they were in college they hadn’t had the chance to use them, and their friends kept getting laid and not them and they were sick of it. Blah blah.. funny shit.
Tyler Durdan, you are a low value, low self esteem man who has to get mind fucekd just to feel good about himself. Your not a pua, your a social reject and a social robot. Ive heard of faking it till you make it but dam, someday your going to have to find something other than women that gives you REAL validation to yourself as a man.