Many guys in the seduction community use verbatim routines that they read online. In fact, this stuff has gone so mainstream now that I hear their banter in bars and clubs when I go out.
Some of these routines have become the new pickup lines.
It’s like if I see a guy with painted black nails and a goofy hat walk towards me or my female friends, I already know what’s coming out of his mouth before he even opens it.
Sometimes, these routines help guys who have absolutely nothing to say, to actually say something. It gives them an excuse to talk to women and that’s a good step in the right direction. Anytime you make an attempt to actually talk to a live woman, it’s a positive step.
But are these routines crutches?
I’d add that routines are absolutely crutches. Let’s be clear, by routines, I am talking about the traditional memorized canned scripts read online and regurgitate. To devote so much on conversational threads is to focus way too much on text, and this process isn’t all that much about text.
I think there is a natural path of progression for most community guys who start out with the opinion opener and routine stacks. (There will always exist a few exceptions such as guys lwho always want to further break things into more algorithms.) However, most other guys move on.
There is a paradigm shift that takes place. This paradigm shift hits you like a bolt of lightening and it occurs in that moment when you suddenly realize that you can almost say anything. As a buddy of mine once said, you can say the most retarded shit and get away with it. It’s because the process has to due with subtext and what you convey.
Naturally, most of us will revert to our personalities and stories from our lives. That is only normal, but along the way we discover that we can make conversations with the mundane, “Hello, how are you?? and still create attraction.
This is what completely eludes many people including some dating teachers.
Why does this forbidden conversational piece work?
How can one person say something so simple along the lines of “How are you?” and spark attraction while another person fails miserably by using the same line?
It’s because we can still exude confidence, playfulness, humor, non-neediness, and still present being a challenge through the mundane text. There no longer is a feeling within for a need to discuss who lies more, or whose jealous girlfriend burnt someone’s photos, and etc.
This is not to vilify anyone who uses the openers but rather, to only bring attention to the matter of the epiphany which takes places at that point in time when you realize, “Holy cow! I do NOT really need this sh*t anymore!”
It’s what I call:
- Doing a lot within the simplicity.
- Doing a lot of subtlety within low movement.
One of best examples I can think of comes from movies and acting. Let’s make it obvious: Watch a really bad actor, or yet watch a pro-wrestler act during on of his interviews or schticks and you’ll super exaggerated movements, over the top behavior, yelling, and loud gestures. They are doing a lot. You can see it from 200 yards away.
These wrestlers start thinking they’re actually actors and start acting in movies. Well, if you’ve seen wrestlers act in movies, you’re familiar with the nauseous feeling you get in the pit of your stomach.
Now, observe a world class actor like Jack Nicholson and as you watch the performance, it appears as though he is doing nothing. In fact, while watching Jack, most people will think, “Sh*t, this is really easy. He is doing nothing. I can do what he is doing. Anyone can.”
However, he is doing a lot within that simplicity. In fact, he is actually doing MORE than the wrestler we can see from 200 yards away.
The difference lies within the subtleties.
So what the heck does this all mean anyway? As men progress through this journey of learning how to attract women, they have a choice: They can forever be stuck on focusing on the superficial, or they can decide to take it a step further and start focusing on the intricate subtleties of the interaction which could very well take place within the simple confines of “How are you.”
- It’s learning to do a lot within very little.
- It’s conveying your traits on a higher level yet moving on a lower plain.
- It’s learning to Feel more and thinking less.
- It’s being able to freely express the human experience through fluidity and freedom of self expression, feeling un-constricted if even it’s for limited spurts at a time.
The way I see it is that you reach a point where much of this stuff becomes second nature.
You can then decide to go the organic route of instinctively feeling your way, expressing yourself, and having a great time while doing it, OR go the inorganic mechanical route of trying to analyze everything and break things into more and more algorithms.
It’s an interesting and pivotal choice, and anytime you read writings by guys who have been around a while, you can very quickly distinguish which route they have chosen.
They’ll either be from the rigid routine spitting school, or the organic flow type of guys.
I can tell you this, the second group is a lot more fun to hang out with. At any rate, choose what suits you best, and progress towards what you envision yourself to become. Be what you want to become.
Are you going to choose to be the guy who is in a state of frenzy lost in complex algorithms analyzing every single interaction?
Are you going to choose to be the guy who ACTUALLY ENJOYS social interactions with women and enjoys flirting with them?
It’s up to you to make this decision. If you’re the in latter group, you’d want to start focusing on the SUBTEXT of your interactions. What does your body language convey? How about your tonality?
What does your attitude convey?
How can you project this through your natural expression?
I think the ideal is between Tyler Durdens approach by analyzing every single move to the second group of guys.
Well, I too also have OCD and it is such a pain I understand cotlmepely what you are going through. I’ve had so much trouble with school for as far back as I can remeber. The key thing I’ve noticed in what you’ve told us is that your medication does not seem to be working. You need to see your Psychiatrist ASAP. Let them know the medication you are on is not helping. They may either need to raise your dosage or change your medication all together. Also, if they just put you on a new medication or changed your dosage, it may take some time before you see the effects of it. If, however, your Psychiatrist does not think your medication needs to be changed, it may be time to find another Psychiatrist. They really need to understand that this is ruining your life and you want to get better. In the mean time, you may want to find a tutor or a friend to help you study. Also try talking with your Professors when classes start, so they can have a better understanding of the difficulty you are having. Some (but not all) may understand where you are coming from and offer some help. Having this disorder means you will have to work twice as hard, but you can do it!!! Good Luck. My thoughts are with you.