Sparky’s pickup guide makes starting a conversation with any girl as easy as it should be.
Ok guys, here it is…a guide to successfully open and hook any set anywhere…To be clear, this is simply a guide to avoid being blown out. IMO you will get laid more by opening every set with high sexual energy…but you will also get blown out more. Eventually you learn to recognize when sexual state at the outset will work and when to tone it down. Until then, and for those not comfortable going purely sexual, this will get you into just about any set and will have girls asking you IOI questions almost instantly.
So for starters, the first thing is to find a target. Now, any girl is openable and receptive…but there are clear signs that she will or will not be receptive to your opening at that given moment. We are all told times to avoid opening such as when she’s waiting for the bartender, on the dance floor, ect (though these are debatable as many successful PUs have happened in both these locations) – but it seems like there isn’t much explanation of optimal times to open. This seems as good as any a place to begin…
FIND: The easiest way to have your opener received favorably is to find a girl who will respond favorably to your opener (sounds simple right?). The most fool-proof way to do this is look at a group. There is usually a girl sitting on the outside leaning far in trying to listen or be included. Open her with the instructions that will come later and I promise she will receive you. On the flip-side, if you see 2 girls talking and they are leaning in close to each other (say they are seated and their heads are much closer than their asses) – its not that this set is un-openable, but you’re better off opening at a later time when they aren’t as engaged in the conversation.
A few other examples of good times to open: -If her friend is at the bar buying drinks and she is standing idly by in the proximity looking around. -If she/they are looking around the room with their chin(s) up. -If she is standing/sitting still with an emotionless or uninviting look on her face. -If she looks bored.
OPENING DYNAMICS:
Ok, so you see an HB you’d like to meet/close, popular opinion is to not open her directly but to open the obstacle first. This is true most of the time by virtue of the fact that the HB is usually the center of attention anyway, but fact is (IMO), which group member you should approach has less to do with attractiveness and instead is more about which one will be more welcoming to you. Once you’re in set in the group, its easy to switch your attention to the target (at the appropriate time).
So we know who to approach and when – lets get down to the how…
When approaching a group, approach the side of the girl you gauge to be most receptive. Gently kino her arm to get her attention, and proceed with concise opener (not without grounding it – i.e. “hey my friends and I are discussing ____ and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on _____. (Opener)”. Now as you run your opener, you’ll notice the rest of the group giving you suspicious looks, as they should be. Solution: Run opener on Receptive Girl (RG), but before she has a chance to respond break eye contact with her and address group as whole with same question (like you’re trying to include them in discussion. Again, before group has chance to respond, look back to RG for answer/reaction. By doing this, you are both disarming the group (showing them your harmless intent, that you want to include them, and getting them involved and interacting with you. For the next minute you can repeat this sequence, make comment to RG, repeat to group, then point (literally) to group member you would like to respond to your statement/question. Switch it around, call on different people, spread your eye contact and reactional opportunities equally throughout the group until you are ready to isolate target.
THE OPENER:
I seriously advise you avoid using any opener you read on the internet. For one thing, the opener sets the tone of the conversation and provides her the first glimpse of your personality. From this point, anything you say will be measured against your opener for congruentness – thus if the opener isn’t your own, your further talk wont be congruent, and since girls are ultra perceptive of this sort of thing, it’s less than ideal. Instead, read openers and try to understand the general principles at play. A huge mistake people make is they decide which opener they will use before finding a girl to use it on. This is clearly an incorrect and illogical sequence (I spent 10 minutes trying to think of appropriate simile, but alas, I lack the way with words, let me know if you come up with one) – instead you want to assess the girl’s state and then use an opener appropriate to that state. That is worth elaborating on your opener should be matched to your reading of the girl. If you perceive the girl as sexual, you will be less successful asking for a quick female opinion on something then you will be with a direct or situational opener. Likewise, if you perceive the girl as timid, she’ll probably shy away from a direct opener while she’ll respond to your request for a quick opinion.
When Approaching – it is very important that you gain eye contact with RG (maybe target, maybe not) and gauge her interest in you. That is, if she shoots you solid eye contact and a provocative look, opening with an opinion will be perceived as a sexual de-escalation and will lower your value. You must gauge her initial interest and calibrate your opener to accommodate that sexual energy. Anything less will be viewed as a cowardly de-escalation and will lead to a blow-out.
Opinion Openers – Though I personally think opinion openers are the least optimal, if you’re going to use an opinion, ask something relevant. I don’t like asking who’s sexier Spiderman or Superman because I don’t care – girls can tell this – they are ultra perceptive. Sure you can practice and rehearse to act like you care, but why bother…how is being able to convincingly ask a dumb question a good skill to have??? So if you are going to use an opinion or open with a question, make it a question you care about. “I was just in Prague and I got this bracelet, do you like it or do you think its girly?” “I’m not really from around here and I notice everyone here wears really dark colors, why do you think that is? What do you think of a guy who wears bright colors like this?” ect – you get the idea. You notice even though these are opinion openers, they are situation-based and thus are relevant to the moment. Also these are DHV’s (i travel). If you ask which superhero is sexier, it is abstract and the girl has little incentive to respond. With a situational opinion you make her feel like she is helping (which she wants to do) and that she is being useful, and thus that the interaction matters (she is invested in your success). Bottom line, make your opinion opener relevant to something currently observable.
Situation Openers – These are my favorite. They cut through the crap of an opinion opener as they are more direct and personal, and are less likely to be viewed as a cowardly sexual de-escalation. I’ve closed several girls with “Hey, I gotta give you a compliment on something…you have the meanest most uninviting look on your face, its fantastic, do you practice that look in front of the mirror?” This works because it’s true. Or “Ok, that’s twice that I’ve walked by and you shot me a funny look, what’s the deal?” To be clear, these are not de-escalated situationals (i.e. it sure is hot in here), but are actually semi-personal. I know other people have had great results with things like “I had to come over and talk to you because you radiate a great energy”. Again, whether this is bullshit or not, the girl perceives this as situational – you saw a great energy and thus had to talk to her.
Direct Openers – “Hi (pause)” “Hi, my name is GroundGame” ect. These are the most escalated openers and require a very strong sexual state on your part to be effective. Notice again, if the girl is timid or has not made interested eye contact with you she wont respond positively to your direct opener. At the same time, if she has indicated interest or sexuality, this is the best way to go as an opinion is a de-escalation and a situation is on par with her indicated interest – whereas the direct opener escalates just a little bit and sets the pace you want.
BEHAVIOR/BODYLANGUAGE:
Upon approach lightly kino her arm and as soon as she looks begin talking – dont give her conditioned response a chance to kick in before your talking and shes listening. Your body language should be slowed down, don’t make jittery hand gestures, instead move your hands in smooth strokes, and gesture to who you’d like to speak. keep your body language open and keep your hands visible in the beginning. Don’t smile too much, but rather use well placed smiles to let them know they are behaving correctly. Use an inquisitive half-smile to prod them on, and an encouraging whole smile to let them know they did a good job. Don’t cock your head up, instead keep your head level. Your voice should be un-rushed, speak at a comfortable pace. if you go into rapid-speak, it comes off as low-self-esteem and low value.
When you’re talking if you get inturrupted with something positive (either they answer your question before you finish or they ask you an interest-question (i.e. where are you from?) drop the opener and proceed running set, you’re in. If one inturupts you with something unfavorable look at her like she’s retarded/socially awkward, and do a group analysis like “ok so you’re the cool one, you’re the funny one, and you’re the defensive/cold/impolite one”. Usually the group members will laugh then agree, or else correct you. From here it is your choice, you can go back to opener, or begin new thread about the dynamics of their group.
Everyone is friendly, people want to talk to you. You’re much more interesting than anything else around, and they’re lucky to have the pleasure of your company. We sometimes don’t know how to react when strangers talk to us, which sometimes leads us to be skeptical when people approach us. For this reason, it is crucial that you establish yourself as a person and not as an intrusion. People are never rude to people, only rude to inconveniences. So when you open, if you get a funny/hesitant/suspicious look, say “no really…” and cock your head to the side just a little bit. This should get them to lower their defenses. An illustration:
GroundGame: Hey, me and my friends were talking about the differences between friendly and unfriendly body language and we could really use a female opinion, what do you perceive as unfriendly body language. GroundGame: (to group – before HB has chance to respond) When you girls are talking to a guy, how does your body language change if you like him versus if you don’t? HB: *suspicious look* GroundGame: Really…I have to get back to my friends, but what do you guys think? *Head cocked slightly to the side with an inquisitive look and a nice smile* HB: blab la bla GroundGame: Because I noticed you were kind of standing like *imitation* when that guy came to talk to you, and that led me to think you didn’t like him, is that right? HB: OMG you’re totally right, bla bla bla or HB: Whats your name? ——————Done Deal————————–
SOME ADDITIONAL POINTERS:
-Unless you are trying to hook up someone else, do not open with the topic being someone else (i.e. my friend here/there wants to _____, what do you think?). -IMO avoid asking things that indicate dissatisfaction with yourself. (i.e. should I dye my hair blonde?) This shows you’re unhappy with the way you are and indecisive about your life. If you insist on going this route a better alternative is “what do you think of guys who dye their hair blonde but who leave the dark roots visible? Do you like being able to see the roots or is it better to go blonde all the way through?” Again though, its counter productive and incongruent to ask this if you’re not actually considering dying your hair blonde. -I find it hard to see any situtaion where a tall guy should use an opinion opener. Height is associated with sexual presense, and as such an opinion opener will be viewed as a sexual de-escalation. tall guys should go use situational or direct only IMO with more initial sexual presense than shorter guys.
Well it’s the middle of the night so I’ll look over this in the afternoon and edit/add so it makes sense and include anything I’ve overlooked. Hope this helps people because its taken me a long time to write and a very long time to figure out.
Ok guys, here it is…a guide to successfully open and hook any set anywhere…To be clear, this is simply a guide to avoid being blown out. IMO you will get laid more by opening every set with high sexual energy…but you will also get blown out more. Eventually you learn to recognize when sexual state at the outset will work and when to tone it down. Until then, and for those not comfortable going purely sexual, this will get you into just about any set and will have girls asking you IOI questions almost instantly.
So for starters, the first thing is to find a target. Now, any girl is openable and receptive…but there are clear signs that she will or will not be receptive to your opening at that given moment. We are all told times to avoid opening such as when she’s waiting for the bartender, on the dance floor, ect (though these are debatable as many successful PUs have happened in both these locations) – but it seems like there isn’t much explanation of optimal times to open. This seems as good as any a place to begin…
FIND: The easiest way to have your opener received favorably is to find a girl who will respond favorably to your opener (sounds simple right?). The most fool-proof way to do this is look at a group. There is usually a girl sitting on the outside leaning far in trying to listen or be included. Open her with the instructions that will come later and I promise she will receive you. On the flip-side, if you see 2 girls talking and they are leaning in close to each other (say they are seated and their heads are much closer than their asses) – its not that this set is un-openable, but you’re better off opening at a later time when they aren’t as engaged in the conversation.
A few other examples of good times to open: -If her friend is at the bar buying drinks and she is standing idly by in the proximity looking around. -If she/they are looking around the room with their chin(s) up. -If she is standing/sitting still with an emotionless or uninviting look on her face. -If she looks bored.
OPENING DYNAMICS:
Ok, so you see an HB you’d like to meet/close, popular opinion is to not open her directly but to open the obstacle first. This is true most of the time by virtue of the fact that the HB is usually the center of attention anyway, but fact is (IMO), which group member you should approach has less to do with attractiveness and instead is more about which one will be more welcoming to you. Once you’re in set in the group, its easy to switch your attention to the target (at the appropriate time).
So we know who to approach and when – lets get down to the how…
When approaching a group, approach the side of the girl you gauge to be most receptive. Gently kino her arm to get her attention, and proceed with concise opener (not without grounding it – i.e. “hey my friends and I are discussing ____ and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on _____. (Opener)”. Now as you run your opener, you’ll notice the rest of the group giving you suspicious looks, as they should be. Solution: Run opener on Receptive Girl (RG), but before she has a chance to respond break eye contact with her and address group as whole with same question (like you’re trying to include them in discussion. Again, before group has chance to respond, look back to RG for answer/reaction. By doing this, you are both disarming the group (showing them your harmless intent, that you want to include them, and getting them involved and interacting with you. For the next minute you can repeat this sequence, make comment to RG, repeat to group, then point (literally) to group member you would like to respond to your statement/question. Switch it around, call on different people, spread your eye contact and reactional opportunities equally throughout the group until you are ready to isolate target.
THE OPENER:
I seriously advise you avoid using any opener you read on the internet. For one thing, the opener sets the tone of the conversation and provides her the first glimpse of your personality. From this point, anything you say will be measured against your opener for congruentness – thus if the opener isn’t your own, your further talk wont be congruent, and since girls are ultra perceptive of this sort of thing, it’s less than ideal. Instead, read openers and try to understand the general principles at play. A huge mistake people make is they decide which opener they will use before finding a girl to use it on. This is clearly an incorrect and illogical sequence (I spent 10 minutes trying to think of appropriate simile, but alas, I lack the way with words, let me know if you come up with one) – instead you want to assess the girl’s state and then use an opener appropriate to that state. That is worth elaborating on your opener should be matched to your reading of the girl. If you perceive the girl as sexual, you will be less successful asking for a quick female opinion on something then you will be with a direct or situational opener. Likewise, if you perceive the girl as timid, she’ll probably shy away from a direct opener while she’ll respond to your request for a quick opinion.
When Approaching – it is very important that you gain eye contact with RG (maybe target, maybe not) and gauge her interest in you. That is, if she shoots you solid eye contact and a provocative look, opening with an opinion will be perceived as a sexual de-escalation and will lower your value. You must gauge her initial interest and calibrate your opener to accommodate that sexual energy. Anything less will be viewed as a cowardly de-escalation and will lead to a blow-out.
Opinion Openers – Though I personally think opinion openers are the least optimal, if you’re going to use an opinion, ask something relevant. I don’t like asking who’s sexier Spiderman or Superman because I don’t care – girls can tell this – they are ultra perceptive. Sure you can practice and rehearse to act like you care, but why bother…how is being able to convincingly ask a dumb question a good skill to have??? So if you are going to use an opinion or open with a question, make it a question you care about. “I was just in Prague and I got this bracelet, do you like it or do you think its girly?” “I’m not really from around here and I notice everyone here wears really dark colors, why do you think that is? What do you think of a guy who wears bright colors like this?” ect – you get the idea. You notice even though these are opinion openers, they are situation-based and thus are relevant to the moment. Also these are DHV’s (i travel). If you ask which superhero is sexier, it is abstract and the girl has little incentive to respond. With a situational opinion you make her feel like she is helping (which she wants to do) and that she is being useful, and thus that the interaction matters (she is invested in your success). Bottom line, make your opinion opener relevant to something currently observable.
Situation Openers – These are my favorite. They cut through the crap of an opinion opener as they are more direct and personal, and are less likely to be viewed as a cowardly sexual de-escalation. I’ve closed several girls with “Hey, I gotta give you a compliment on something…you have the meanest most uninviting look on your face, its fantastic, do you practice that look in front of the mirror?” This works because it’s true. Or “Ok, that’s twice that I’ve walked by and you shot me a funny look, what’s the deal?” To be clear, these are not de-escalated situationals (i.e. it sure is hot in here), but are actually semi-personal. I know other people have had great results with things like “I had to come over and talk to you because you radiate a great energy”. Again, whether this is bullshit or not, the girl perceives this as situational – you saw a great energy and thus had to talk to her.
Direct Openers – “Hi (pause)” “Hi, my name is GroundGame” ect. These are the most escalated openers and require a very strong sexual state on your part to be effective. Notice again, if the girl is timid or has not made interested eye contact with you she wont respond positively to your direct opener. At the same time, if she has indicated interest or sexuality, this is the best way to go as an opinion is a de-escalation and a situation is on par with her indicated interest – whereas the direct opener escalates just a little bit and sets the pace you want.
BEHAVIOR/BODYLANGUAGE:
Upon approach lightly kino her arm and as soon as she looks begin talking – dont give her conditioned response a chance to kick in before your talking and shes listening. Your body language should be slowed down, don’t make jittery hand gestures, instead move your hands in smooth strokes, and gesture to who you’d like to speak. keep your body language open and keep your hands visible in the beginning. Don’t smile too much, but rather use well placed smiles to let them know they are behaving correctly. Use an inquisitive half-smile to prod them on, and an encouraging whole smile to let them know they did a good job. Don’t cock your head up, instead keep your head level. Your voice should be un-rushed, speak at a comfortable pace. if you go into rapid-speak, it comes off as low-self-esteem and low value.
When you’re talking if you get inturrupted with something positive (either they answer your question before you finish or they ask you an interest-question (i.e. where are you from?) drop the opener and proceed running set, you’re in. If one inturupts you with something unfavorable look at her like she’s retarded/socially awkward, and do a group analysis like “ok so you’re the cool one, you’re the funny one, and you’re the defensive/cold/impolite one”. Usually the group members will laugh then agree, or else correct you. From here it is your choice, you can go back to opener, or begin new thread about the dynamics of their group.
Everyone is friendly, people want to talk to you. You’re much more interesting than anything else around, and they’re lucky to have the pleasure of your company. We sometimes don’t know how to react when strangers talk to us, which sometimes leads us to be skeptical when people approach us. For this reason, it is crucial that you establish yourself as a person and not as an intrusion. People are never rude to people, only rude to inconveniences. So when you open, if you get a funny/hesitant/suspicious look, say “no really…” and cock your head to the side just a little bit. This should get them to lower their defenses. An illustration:
GroundGame: Hey, me and my friends were talking about the differences between friendly and unfriendly body language and we could really use a female opinion, what do you perceive as unfriendly body language. GroundGame: (to group – before HB has chance to respond) When you girls are talking to a guy, how does your body language change if you like him versus if you don’t? HB: *suspicious look* GroundGame: Really…I have to get back to my friends, but what do you guys think? *Head cocked slightly to the side with an inquisitive look and a nice smile* HB: blab la bla GroundGame: Because I noticed you were kind of standing like *imitation* when that guy came to talk to you, and that led me to think you didn’t like him, is that right? HB: OMG you’re totally right, bla bla bla or HB: Whats your name? ——————Done Deal————————–
SOME ADDITIONAL POINTERS:
-Unless you are trying to hook up someone else, do not open with the topic being someone else (i.e. my friend here/there wants to _____, what do you think?). -IMO avoid asking things that indicate dissatisfaction with yourself. (i.e. should I dye my hair blonde?) This shows you’re unhappy with the way you are and indecisive about your life. If you insist on going this route a better alternative is “what do you think of guys who dye their hair blonde but who leave the dark roots visible? Do you like being able to see the roots or is it better to go blonde all the way through?” Again though, its counter productive and incongruent to ask this if you’re not actually considering dying your hair blonde. -I find it hard to see any situtaion where a tall guy should use an opinion opener. Height is associated with sexual presense, and as such an opinion opener will be viewed as a sexual de-escalation. tall guys should go use situational or direct only IMO with more initial sexual presense than shorter guys.
Well it’s the middle of the night so I’ll look over this in the afternoon and edit/add so it makes sense and include anything I’ve overlooked. Hope this helps people because its taken me a long time to write and a very long time to figure out.
Ok guys, here it is…a guide to successfully open and hook any set anywhere…To be clear, this is simply a guide to avoid being blown out. IMO you will get laid more by opening every set with high sexual energy…but you will also get blown out more. Eventually you learn to recognize when sexual state at the outset will work and when to tone it down. Until then, and for those not comfortable going purely sexual, this will get you into just about any set and will have girls asking you IOI questions almost instantly.
So for starters, the first thing is to find a target. Now, any girl is openable and receptive…but there are clear signs that she will or will not be receptive to your opening at that given moment. We are all told times to avoid opening such as when she’s waiting for the bartender, on the dance floor, ect (though these are debatable as many successful PUs have happened in both these locations) – but it seems like there isn’t much explanation of optimal times to open. This seems as good as any a place to begin…
FIND: The easiest way to have your opener received favorably is to find a girl who will respond favorably to your opener (sounds simple right?). The most fool-proof way to do this is look at a group. There is usually a girl sitting on the outside leaning far in trying to listen or be included. Open her with the instructions that will come later and I promise she will receive you. On the flip-side, if you see 2 girls talking and they are leaning in close to each other (say they are seated and their heads are much closer than their asses) – its not that this set is un-openable, but you’re better off opening at a later time when they aren’t as engaged in the conversation.
A few other examples of good times to open: -If her friend is at the bar buying drinks and she is standing idly by in the proximity looking around. -If she/they are looking around the room with their chin(s) up. -If she is standing/sitting still with an emotionless or uninviting look on her face. -If she looks bored.
OPENING DYNAMICS:
Ok, so you see an HB you’d like to meet/close, popular opinion is to not open her directly but to open the obstacle first. This is true most of the time by virtue of the fact that the HB is usually the center of attention anyway, but fact is (IMO), which group member you should approach has less to do with attractiveness and instead is more about which one will be more welcoming to you. Once you’re in set in the group, its easy to switch your attention to the target (at the appropriate time).
So we know who to approach and when – lets get down to the how…
When approaching a group, approach the side of the girl you gauge to be most receptive. Gently kino her arm to get her attention, and proceed with concise opener (not without grounding it – i.e. “hey my friends and I are discussing ____ and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on _____. (Opener)”. Now as you run your opener, you’ll notice the rest of the group giving you suspicious looks, as they should be. Solution: Run opener on Receptive Girl (RG), but before she has a chance to respond break eye contact with her and address group as whole with same question (like you’re trying to include them in discussion. Again, before group has chance to respond, look back to RG for answer/reaction. By doing this, you are both disarming the group (showing them your harmless intent, that you want to include them, and getting them involved and interacting with you. For the next minute you can repeat this sequence, make comment to RG, repeat to group, then point (literally) to group member you would like to respond to your statement/question. Switch it around, call on different people, spread your eye contact and reactional opportunities equally throughout the group until you are ready to isolate target.
THE OPENER:
I seriously advise you avoid using any opener you read on the internet. For one thing, the opener sets the tone of the conversation and provides her the first glimpse of your personality. From this point, anything you say will be measured against your opener for congruentness – thus if the opener isn’t your own, your further talk wont be congruent, and since girls are ultra perceptive of this sort of thing, it’s less than ideal. Instead, read openers and try to understand the general principles at play. A huge mistake people make is they decide which opener they will use before finding a girl to use it on. This is clearly an incorrect and illogical sequence (I spent 10 minutes trying to think of appropriate simile, but alas, I lack the way with words, let me know if you come up with one) – instead you want to assess the girl’s state and then use an opener appropriate to that state. That is worth elaborating on your opener should be matched to your reading of the girl. If you perceive the girl as sexual, you will be less successful asking for a quick female opinion on something then you will be with a direct or situational opener. Likewise, if you perceive the girl as timid, she’ll probably shy away from a direct opener while she’ll respond to your request for a quick opinion.
When Approaching – it is very important that you gain eye contact with RG (maybe target, maybe not) and gauge her interest in you. That is, if she shoots you solid eye contact and a provocative look, opening with an opinion will be perceived as a sexual de-escalation and will lower your value. You must gauge her initial interest and calibrate your opener to accommodate that sexual energy. Anything less will be viewed as a cowardly de-escalation and will lead to a blow-out.
Opinion Openers – Though I personally think opinion openers are the least optimal, if you’re going to use an opinion, ask something relevant. I don’t like asking who’s sexier Spiderman or Superman because I don’t care – girls can tell this – they are ultra perceptive. Sure you can practice and rehearse to act like you care, but why bother…how is being able to convincingly ask a dumb question a good skill to have??? So if you are going to use an opinion or open with a question, make it a question you care about. “I was just in Prague and I got this bracelet, do you like it or do you think its girly?” “I’m not really from around here and I notice everyone here wears really dark colors, why do you think that is? What do you think of a guy who wears bright colors like this?” ect – you get the idea. You notice even though these are opinion openers, they are situation-based and thus are relevant to the moment. Also these are DHV’s (i travel). If you ask which superhero is sexier, it is abstract and the girl has little incentive to respond. With a situational opinion you make her feel like she is helping (which she wants to do) and that she is being useful, and thus that the interaction matters (she is invested in your success). Bottom line, make your opinion opener relevant to something currently observable.
Situation Openers – These are my favorite. They cut through the crap of an opinion opener as they are more direct and personal, and are less likely to be viewed as a cowardly sexual de-escalation. I’ve closed several girls with “Hey, I gotta give you a compliment on something…you have the meanest most uninviting look on your face, its fantastic, do you practice that look in front of the mirror?” This works because it’s true. Or “Ok, that’s twice that I’ve walked by and you shot me a funny look, what’s the deal?” To be clear, these are not de-escalated situationals (i.e. it sure is hot in here), but are actually semi-personal. I know other people have had great results with things like “I had to come over and talk to you because you radiate a great energy”. Again, whether this is bullshit or not, the girl perceives this as situational – you saw a great energy and thus had to talk to her.
Direct Openers – “Hi (pause)” “Hi, my name is GroundGame” ect. These are the most escalated openers and require a very strong sexual state on your part to be effective. Notice again, if the girl is timid or has not made interested eye contact with you she wont respond positively to your direct opener. At the same time, if she has indicated interest or sexuality, this is the best way to go as an opinion is a de-escalation and a situation is on par with her indicated interest – whereas the direct opener escalates just a little bit and sets the pace you want.
BEHAVIOR/BODYLANGUAGE:
Upon approach lightly kino her arm and as soon as she looks begin talking – dont give her conditioned response a chance to kick in before your talking and shes listening. Your body language should be slowed down, don’t make jittery hand gestures, instead move your hands in smooth strokes, and gesture to who you’d like to speak. keep your body language open and keep your hands visible in the beginning. Don’t smile too much, but rather use well placed smiles to let them know they are behaving correctly. Use an inquisitive half-smile to prod them on, and an encouraging whole smile to let them know they did a good job. Don’t cock your head up, instead keep your head level. Your voice should be un-rushed, speak at a comfortable pace. if you go into rapid-speak, it comes off as low-self-esteem and low value.
When you’re talking if you get inturrupted with something positive (either they answer your question before you finish or they ask you an interest-question (i.e. where are you from?) drop the opener and proceed running set, you’re in. If one inturupts you with something unfavorable look at her like she’s retarded/socially awkward, and do a group analysis like “ok so you’re the cool one, you’re the funny one, and you’re the defensive/cold/impolite one”. Usually the group members will laugh then agree, or else correct you. From here it is your choice, you can go back to opener, or begin new thread about the dynamics of their group.
Everyone is friendly, people want to talk to you. You’re much more interesting than anything else around, and they’re lucky to have the pleasure of your company. We sometimes don’t know how to react when strangers talk to us, which sometimes leads us to be skeptical when people approach us. For this reason, it is crucial that you establish yourself as a person and not as an intrusion. People are never rude to people, only rude to inconveniences. So when you open, if you get a funny/hesitant/suspicious look, say “no really…” and cock your head to the side just a little bit. This should get them to lower their defenses. An illustration:
GroundGame: Hey, me and my friends were talking about the differences between friendly and unfriendly body language and we could really use a female opinion, what do you perceive as unfriendly body language. GroundGame: (to group – before HB has chance to respond) When you girls are talking to a guy, how does your body language change if you like him versus if you don’t? HB: *suspicious look* GroundGame: Really…I have to get back to my friends, but what do you guys think? *Head cocked slightly to the side with an inquisitive look and a nice smile* HB: blab la bla GroundGame: Because I noticed you were kind of standing like *imitation* when that guy came to talk to you, and that led me to think you didn’t like him, is that right? HB: OMG you’re totally right, bla bla bla or HB: Whats your name? ——————Done Deal————————–
SOME ADDITIONAL POINTERS:
-Unless you are trying to hook up someone else, do not open with the topic being someone else (i.e. my friend here/there wants to _____, what do you think?). -IMO avoid asking things that indicate dissatisfaction with yourself. (i.e. should I dye my hair blonde?) This shows you’re unhappy with the way you are and indecisive about your life. If you insist on going this route a better alternative is “what do you think of guys who dye their hair blonde but who leave the dark roots visible? Do you like being able to see the roots or is it better to go blonde all the way through?” Again though, its counter productive and incongruent to ask this if you’re not actually considering dying your hair blonde. -I find it hard to see any situtaion where a tall guy should use an opinion opener. Height is associated with sexual presense, and as such an opinion opener will be viewed as a sexual de-escalation. tall guys should go use situational or direct only IMO with more initial sexual presense than shorter guys.
Well it’s the middle of the night so I’ll look over this in the afternoon and edit/add so it makes sense and include anything I’ve overlooked. Hope this helps people because its taken me a long time to write and a very long time to figure out.
Ok guys, here it is…a guide to successfully open and hook any set anywhere…To be clear, this is simply a guide to avoid being blown out. IMO you will get laid more by opening every set with high sexual energy…but you will also get blown out more. Eventually you learn to recognize when sexual state at the outset will work and when to tone it down. Until then, and for those not comfortable going purely sexual, this will get you into just about any set and will have girls asking you IOI questions almost instantly.
So for starters, the first thing is to find a target. Now, any girl is openable and receptive…but there are clear signs that she will or will not be receptive to your opening at that given moment. We are all told times to avoid opening such as when she’s waiting for the bartender, on the dance floor, ect (though these are debatable as many successful PUs have happened in both these locations) – but it seems like there isn’t much explanation of optimal times to open. This seems as good as any a place to begin…
FIND: The easiest way to have your opener received favorably is to find a girl who will respond favorably to your opener (sounds simple right?). The most fool-proof way to do this is look at a group. There is usually a girl sitting on the outside leaning far in trying to listen or be included. Open her with the instructions that will come later and I promise she will receive you. On the flip-side, if you see 2 girls talking and they are leaning in close to each other (say they are seated and their heads are much closer than their asses) – its not that this set is un-openable, but you’re better off opening at a later time when they aren’t as engaged in the conversation.
A few other examples of good times to open: -If her friend is at the bar buying drinks and she is standing idly by in the proximity looking around. -If she/they are looking around the room with their chin(s) up. -If she is standing/sitting still with an emotionless or uninviting look on her face. -If she looks bored.
OPENING DYNAMICS:
Ok, so you see an HB you’d like to meet/close, popular opinion is to not open her directly but to open the obstacle first. This is true most of the time by virtue of the fact that the HB is usually the center of attention anyway, but fact is (IMO), which group member you should approach has less to do with attractiveness and instead is more about which one will be more welcoming to you. Once you’re in set in the group, its easy to switch your attention to the target (at the appropriate time).
So we know who to approach and when – lets get down to the how…
When approaching a group, approach the side of the girl you gauge to be most receptive. Gently kino her arm to get her attention, and proceed with concise opener (not without grounding it – i.e. “hey my friends and I are discussing ____ and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on _____. (Opener)”. Now as you run your opener, you’ll notice the rest of the group giving you suspicious looks, as they should be. Solution: Run opener on Receptive Girl (RG), but before she has a chance to respond break eye contact with her and address group as whole with same question (like you’re trying to include them in discussion. Again, before group has chance to respond, look back to RG for answer/reaction. By doing this, you are both disarming the group (showing them your harmless intent, that you want to include them, and getting them involved and interacting with you. For the next minute you can repeat this sequence, make comment to RG, repeat to group, then point (literally) to group member you would like to respond to your statement/question. Switch it around, call on different people, spread your eye contact and reactional opportunities equally throughout the group until you are ready to isolate target.
THE OPENER:
I seriously advise you avoid using any opener you read on the internet. For one thing, the opener sets the tone of the conversation and provides her the first glimpse of your personality. From this point, anything you say will be measured against your opener for congruentness – thus if the opener isn’t your own, your further talk wont be congruent, and since girls are ultra perceptive of this sort of thing, it’s less than ideal. Instead, read openers and try to understand the general principles at play. A huge mistake people make is they decide which opener they will use before finding a girl to use it on. This is clearly an incorrect and illogical sequence (I spent 10 minutes trying to think of appropriate simile, but alas, I lack the way with words, let me know if you come up with one) – instead you want to assess the girl’s state and then use an opener appropriate to that state. That is worth elaborating on your opener should be matched to your reading of the girl. If you perceive the girl as sexual, you will be less successful asking for a quick female opinion on something then you will be with a direct or situational opener. Likewise, if you perceive the girl as timid, she’ll probably shy away from a direct opener while she’ll respond to your request for a quick opinion.
When Approaching – it is very important that you gain eye contact with RG (maybe target, maybe not) and gauge her interest in you. That is, if she shoots you solid eye contact and a provocative look, opening with an opinion will be perceived as a sexual de-escalation and will lower your value. You must gauge her initial interest and calibrate your opener to accommodate that sexual energy. Anything less will be viewed as a cowardly de-escalation and will lead to a blow-out.
Opinion Openers – Though I personally think opinion openers are the least optimal, if you’re going to use an opinion, ask something relevant. I don’t like asking who’s sexier Spiderman or Superman because I don’t care – girls can tell this – they are ultra perceptive. Sure you can practice and rehearse to act like you care, but why bother…how is being able to convincingly ask a dumb question a good skill to have??? So if you are going to use an opinion or open with a question, make it a question you care about. “I was just in Prague and I got this bracelet, do you like it or do you think its girly?” “I’m not really from around here and I notice everyone here wears really dark colors, why do you think that is? What do you think of a guy who wears bright colors like this?” ect – you get the idea. You notice even though these are opinion openers, they are situation-based and thus are relevant to the moment. Also these are DHV’s (i travel). If you ask which superhero is sexier, it is abstract and the girl has little incentive to respond. With a situational opinion you make her feel like she is helping (which she wants to do) and that she is being useful, and thus that the interaction matters (she is invested in your success). Bottom line, make your opinion opener relevant to something currently observable.
Situation Openers – These are my favorite. They cut through the crap of an opinion opener as they are more direct and personal, and are less likely to be viewed as a cowardly sexual de-escalation. I’ve closed several girls with “Hey, I gotta give you a compliment on something…you have the meanest most uninviting look on your face, its fantastic, do you practice that look in front of the mirror?” This works because it’s true. Or “Ok, that’s twice that I’ve walked by and you shot me a funny look, what’s the deal?” To be clear, these are not de-escalated situationals (i.e. it sure is hot in here), but are actually semi-personal. I know other people have had great results with things like “I had to come over and talk to you because you radiate a great energy”. Again, whether this is bullshit or not, the girl perceives this as situational – you saw a great energy and thus had to talk to her.
Direct Openers – “Hi (pause)” “Hi, my name is GroundGame” ect. These are the most escalated openers and require a very strong sexual state on your part to be effective. Notice again, if the girl is timid or has not made interested eye contact with you she wont respond positively to your direct opener. At the same time, if she has indicated interest or sexuality, this is the best way to go as an opinion is a de-escalation and a situation is on par with her indicated interest – whereas the direct opener escalates just a little bit and sets the pace you want.
BEHAVIOR/BODYLANGUAGE:
Upon approach lightly kino her arm and as soon as she looks begin talking – dont give her conditioned response a chance to kick in before your talking and shes listening. Your body language should be slowed down, don’t make jittery hand gestures, instead move your hands in smooth strokes, and gesture to who you’d like to speak. keep your body language open and keep your hands visible in the beginning. Don’t smile too much, but rather use well placed smiles to let them know they are behaving correctly. Use an inquisitive half-smile to prod them on, and an encouraging whole smile to let them know they did a good job. Don’t cock your head up, instead keep your head level. Your voice should be un-rushed, speak at a comfortable pace. if you go into rapid-speak, it comes off as low-self-esteem and low value.
When you’re talking if you get inturrupted with something positive (either they answer your question before you finish or they ask you an interest-question (i.e. where are you from?) drop the opener and proceed running set, you’re in. If one inturupts you with something unfavorable look at her like she’s retarded/socially awkward, and do a group analysis like “ok so you’re the cool one, you’re the funny one, and you’re the defensive/cold/impolite one”. Usually the group members will laugh then agree, or else correct you. From here it is your choice, you can go back to opener, or begin new thread about the dynamics of their group.
Everyone is friendly, people want to talk to you. You’re much more interesting than anything else around, and they’re lucky to have the pleasure of your company. We sometimes don’t know how to react when strangers talk to us, which sometimes leads us to be skeptical when people approach us. For this reason, it is crucial that you establish yourself as a person and not as an intrusion. People are never rude to people, only rude to inconveniences. So when you open, if you get a funny/hesitant/suspicious look, say “no really…” and cock your head to the side just a little bit. This should get them to lower their defenses. An illustration:
GroundGame: Hey, me and my friends were talking about the differences between friendly and unfriendly body language and we could really use a female opinion, what do you perceive as unfriendly body language. GroundGame: (to group – before HB has chance to respond) When you girls are talking to a guy, how does your body language change if you like him versus if you don’t? HB: *suspicious look* GroundGame: Really…I have to get back to my friends, but what do you guys think? *Head cocked slightly to the side with an inquisitive look and a nice smile* HB: blab la bla GroundGame: Because I noticed you were kind of standing like *imitation* when that guy came to talk to you, and that led me to think you didn’t like him, is that right? HB: OMG you’re totally right, bla bla bla or HB: Whats your name?
——————Done Deal————————–
SOME ADDITIONAL POINTERS:
-Unless you are trying to hook up someone else, do not open with the topic being someone else (i.e. my friend here/there wants to _____, what do you think?). -IMO avoid asking things that indicate dissatisfaction with yourself. (i.e. should I dye my hair blonde?) This shows you’re unhappy with the way you are and indecisive about your life. If you insist on going this route a better alternative is “what do you think of guys who dye their hair blonde but who leave the dark roots visible? Do you like being able to see the roots or is it better to go blonde all the way through?” Again though, its counter productive and incongruent to ask this if you’re not actually considering dying your hair blonde. -I find it hard to see any situtaion where a tall guy should use an opinion opener. Height is associated with sexual presense, and as such an opinion opener will be viewed as a sexual de-escalation. tall guys should go use situational or direct only IMO with more initial sexual presense than shorter guys.
Well it’s the middle of the night so I’ll look over this in the afternoon and edit/add so it makes sense and include anything I’ve overlooked. Hope this helps people because its taken me a long time to write and a very long time to figure out.