How Not to be that Cheesy Guy

I was just catching up on the latest posts, and was noticing something that I really think is a common mistake for guys coming to the community.  That is, being the cheesy guy trying to get the girl turned on.

In saying that, I’m not referring to being sexual or projecting a reality that girls are drawn into.  Rather, I’m referring to tactics that guys may have the impression are getting the girl revved up, when in really its just making them look childish.

Like something that I think a lot of guys don’t get is that girls are chatting you, and yes its important to get them into you – but its also equally important not to do anything stupid to disqualify yourself.

It’s like when you’re talking to a girl, and she’ll be totally into you, but the second you talk about your house or car she instantly loses interest.  Or you’ll tell her about how you beat somebody up, and she loses interest.  Anything like that is visibly showing that you are trying to change her opinion of you in an artificial way.  The same goes for unwitty innuendo or anything that cleverly gets her to do things she’s not choosing to do on her own.

There’s a bit of a data fallacy though with pickup, because guys may do something and think it helped them, but really it only worked because of other reasons.

For example, guys will beat eachother up in front of girls, and their girls will become more attracted.  They’ll think “Aha!  She likes me because I’m so tough for kicking that guys’ ass!”  Really though, they’re not realizing that it was actually that their girlfriend likes insecure guys, and that’s what turned her on.  Like for the same reasons you can get blown out of sets with 7s or with any girl who isn’t self confident, by using too much C&F or overgaming, you can attract her by acting insecure.  Like these guys don’t even realize that the girls they got by fighting were attracted them because they lowered their own value, and it made the girl feel qualified.

The same goes for guys who use excessive gropy kino, or who keep plowing the girls with tacky innuendo or with tricks to escalate.  If you look, its the insecure girls who like this stuff, because the guys are subcommunicating that they couldn’t get the top girls, so these girls feel qualified to be with them.  And that’s great – except when you’re trying to get with the top girls.

Like I’ll see these guys rolling up on girls, acting all gropy and in their face, and running all these cheesy lines.  And the girl is sort of tense, but she’s liking it because she feels qualified for the guy.  So she sits there letting it go down, and you think to yourself “How is that working?”

It’s not that this is solid game.  It’s that the girls are just underqualified and are actually drawn to behaviour that lowers the guys’ value.

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is that guys will come into the scene and read up on T/T, and go out there and hit the field.  And that’s awesome.  But really, what gets girls isn’t visibly doing things to game her.  That just disqualifies you.  What gets girls is when you just roll in, and have an awesome convo, get her totally into you, and structure it from there either to instant date or see eachother when you have time.  Waiting for the IOIs and escalating when the window opens.

The second that the girl detects that what you’re doing is intended to hook up with her, you lose value instantly and she loses attraction.  That isn’t the case with lesser girls.  Many girls will find it a turn on because it’s a subcommunicative indicator that she is qualified for you.

But for most guys, I think the thing that they could benefit from studying most is having a strong frame, and going in there looking like you’re not trying to alter her perception of you in any visible way, and that you’re just a chill guy having a good time talking to her.  So long as you convey the right stuff during the convo, you’ll be fine.

Many girls enjoy sex as much if not more than guys.  So if you come across right, and don’t do anything to blow yourself out, you stand a great chance.

It’s more about the vibe that you project.

Anyway, that’s my 2c on some of the posts I’ve seen.  I thinkits awesome that guys are going out and thinking about this stuff.  And the same guys posting the cheesy stuff will still get results eventually, because they’re out in the field.  So that’s fine.  I’m just hoping to help them to progress a little faster, and of course to vent a bit.. 🙂


  1. Ilham October 22, 2012
    • Sheryl April 17, 2014

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